Enemy at Home
by elarielf
Summary: Suzaku is an FBI agent tasked with finding Zero, a politically-motivated serial killer. But when Zero starts targeting the agency, even Suzaku's lover Lelouch might be in danger. AU, Explicit, M/M, M/M/M, M/F, violence, sexual violence/inequality
1. Hold You Close

Lelouch could tell something was wrong the moment Suzaku walked through the door of their apartment.

It wasn't just that he was hours late and hadn't called, it wasn't just the way he moved, as if everything non-physical hurt, it wasn't even the haunted look on his face as he closed the door behind himself.

It was how he avoided Lelouch's gaze, just like he had the time Lelouch found out the truth of his father's (murder) death.

Lelouch hadn't let him off easily that time, and he wouldn't this time either.

"Suzaku, what happened?"

"I can't talk about it." Suzaku's voice was dull and flat. It wasn't an uncommon answer, there was a lot Suzaku couldn't discuss as an FBI agent, but he didn't normally sound so dejected. Lelouch usually let it pass and found out by asking his co-workers behind his back. They were generally more than willing to share information with the Forensic PhD student who would probably one day soon be their boss.

Not this time, though. "Suzaku, I have some sodium thiopental in the kitchen. The chem majors were more than happy to cook me up some. There's probably not _too_ many toxic by-products still left…"

That didn't even provoke a smile. "Lelouch, drop it."

"No." Lelouch took Suzaku's face in his hands and forced him to look at him. "You can't seriously expect me to not care about you when you look like this. What. Happened?"

Suzaku's stony expression wilted. "A-anya… he got Anya."

"Who?" Lelouch asked, only vaguely acquainted with Suzaku's younger co-worker. "Who got her?"

And just like that, Suzaku collapsed into Lelouch's arms. "Zero."

Ah. That explained things. Lelouch held Suzaku as he didn't cry. He never cried over Zero's victims, despite this being the first major serial killer case he'd been assigned to work on. The more Zero killed, the more Suzaku was determined to catch him. But it had never been such a personal murder.

Lelouch led Suzaku to the couch, kissing his forehead before pulling away. "I'll get you something to drink. No sodium thiopental, promise." Suzaku just nodded. "Have you eaten?"

Suzaku shook his head. "Not hungry."

"Okay," Lelouch said. "I'll be back."

When he returned with a hot cup of tea, Suzaku was more willing to talk. He didn't talk about the case at all, just about Anya. Her quiet professionalism, the way Gino had taken her under his wing, how she never seemed to put in much effort, but was always there before her shift and stayed late, working tirelessly. The rumours that she was a prodigy, not unlike Lelouch. "I think you would have liked her."

"Just from hearing you talk about her, I like her," Lelouch responded, taking away Suzaku's cold tea and kissing him. "Come to bed."

Suzaku hesitated. "It's not even ten yet."

"You're exhausted," Lelouch pointed out. "And the way you're going, there's only one way to make sure you get to sleep tonight." He held out his hand. "Come on, Suzaku. Let me take care of you for once."

Suzaku finally smiled and brought Lelouch's hand to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to his knuckles. "You're always taking care of me, Lelouch."

Lelouch smiled back. "Whenever you let me, at least." He led Suzaku to their bedroom, gently removing his clothes with both care and consideration, kissing and stroking the skin as it was revealed. By the time he pushed Suzaku down to the bed, Suzaku was as eager for him as Lelouch was to comfort him.

When Lelouch finally curled up to Suzaku, still breathing hard and already shivering as the sweat cooled on his skin, he was rewarded with the sound of Suzaku's steady breathing as he fell asleep. Lelouch smiled and pressed a kiss to Suzaku's cheek as he pulled the covers over them.

"Just let me take care of you, Suzaku. And everything will be fine."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

"He's hunted one of our own. This is no time for posturing or office politics. We need to band together and catch this monster before he strikes again," Milly said, her blue eyes cold and piercing as she surveyed her teams. "Weinberg, you're the new point. Sorry, Kururugi, but we need experience on this. You'll get the next one."

"That's fine, ma'am." Suzaku knew she was right; office politics and personal careers took second place to catching Zero now that he'd attacked the agency itself.

"Kallen should be back in a few days," Gino said, his usual cheerful nature subdued and bags visible under his eyes. "Until then, can I have Suzaku as my partner?"

"Of course," Milly readily agreed. "Speed is of the essence on this one. Right then. Go to!"

Suzaku made his way to Gino's side. "Thanks, but you don't need to…"

"I need you right now," Gino interrupted. "I'm kinda… Anya was… I need you to keep me level, Suzaku. Kay?"

Suzaku knew exactly what he was talking about. If it hadn't been for Lelouch… "Can do, boss."

It made Gino smile, which was what Suzaku had been going for. "Quit that."

"Hey, Suzaku." Rivalz poked his head around the corner. "Your squeeze is here. Can I let him in?"

Suzaku winced. If Lelouch heard that… "Sure, let him in." Rivalz was a good security guard, but the very opposite of politic.

Fortunately, it seemed that Lelouch had missed it. "I brought food…"

"Yay!" Gino cheered. "Lamperouge cooking!" Indeed, Lelouch was carrying two large bags, enough for all of Milly's agents. Gino took them from him gleefully, and spread it out on a table, leaving Lelouch and Suzaku alone. There was already a line forming as two agents went to get plastic plates and cutlery.

Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "He's looking less upset that I expected.

"It's a front," Suzaku assured him, taking Lelouch into his arms and just holding him. "Hmm… you smell good." Lelouch chuckled. "You seriously came all the way here to drop off lunch?"

"You didn't have supper and coffee doesn't count as breakfast," Lelouch chided. "I wanted to make sure you had at least once decent meal." He smiled as Suzaku nuzzled at his neck before frowning lightly. "You were talking with Gino when I came in…"

Suzaku groaned. "Not that again. We work together, Lelouch, that's all. It's against regulations for agents to date, and anyway he and Kallen are…"

"You realize you're contradicting yourself," Lelouch pointed out, but he relaxed in Suzaku's arms.

"I love _you_," Suzaku argued, as if that was a valid point at all, and kissed him. Lelouch froze, fully aware of his surroundings, before giving it up as a lost cause and closing his eyes and kissing back.

When he opened his eyes again he saw Gino, smiling at them almost enviously before it brightened to his usual grin. He winked outrageously at Lelouch before jerking his head over at Milly, as if warning Lelouch not to make out in front of the boss. Lelouch made a mental note of the strange smile as he nodded gratefully to Gino, then untangled himself from Suzaku.

"We shouldn't do that here," Lelouch whispered, blushing lightly. "You could get in trouble."

"Worth it," Suzaku whispered back. "I never thanked you for last night."

Lelouch's blush deepened, but he looked pleased. "It was my pleasure, I assure you." He pecked Suzaku lightly on the lips before pulling away. "I need to go."

"Alright," Suzaku said easily. "To the library?"

"Mmm…" Lelouch nodded absently. "So it wasn't that far out of the way."

"Still." Suzaku smiled. "Thanks."

Lelouch felt himself melt inside. "You're… it was… just come home on time tonight."

Suzaku laughed. "I'll do my best."

When Suzaku got home that night, Lelouch wasn't waiting for him. Instead there was a note.

_Suzaku_

_Sorry if you actually did what I said for once and came home on time. My preceptor called me in for an emergency meeting and I probably won't be home before eight._

_Yesterday's supper is still in the fridge, and I'll call before I leave if you'd rather get take-out._

_(Yes, the role reversal is hilarious, stop laughing idiot)_

_I'm sorry for leaving you alone after everything. Just know that I love you and I'll be there soon._

_PS; if you invite Gino over, I'll understand. He must be going through a lot too._

Suzaku smiled fondly at the paper, imagining the words spoken in Lelouch's irritated voice. He briefly considered following Lelouch's carefully worded suggestion and inviting Gino over, but decided that at this point calling him would just undermine his confidence. Suzaku planned to be there for Gino when needed, but wasn't about to nag him when it wasn't.

He opened the fridge and stared uninterestedly at the food. He wasn't so hungry that he wanted to eat without Lelouch, so, he sat down with some of the older Zero case files instead and started reviewing them.

He must have lost track of time, because when he looked up at the ringing phone, it was nearly eight.

"Lelouch?"

"You should always answer the phone like that," Lelouch said, sounding a little distracted. "It's good for my ego."

"Your ego doesn't need any help." Suzaku grinned. "On your way home?"

"Yup, just finished up here," Lelouch said. "So, am I picking something up on the way?"

"Please," Suzaku said, just now realizing how hungry he was. "Something quick."

Lelouch laughed. "Eager for food, or eager for my company?"

"Can't it be both?" Suzaku asked before immediately correcting himself. "Your company. Definitely your company."

"Nice save. I'll be home soon."

"Love you."

"You too."

The moment Lelouch walked through the door, smiling and carrying a bag of Chinese, Suzaku pressed him against the wall and kissed him breathless.

"…I thought you were hungry."

"Perfect opening for an innuendo, but I actually am. I just wanted you to know how much I missed you."

Lelouch smirked and patted the front of Suzaku's pants. "I get how much you missed me. Let's eat and then see what we can do about that."

Suzaku had never eaten a meal as quickly in his life.

If there was one thing that hadn't changed in all the time they'd been together, Suzaku thought, it was that Lelouch was surprisingly beautiful after sex.

Most people would be sweaty and sticky and a mess. Lelouch glowed and looked tastefully ruffled and _always _incredibly sated.

Which was hilarious in a way, because Lelouch after any other physical activity looked like a panting tomato.

"Hmm… we should get Chinese more often," Lelouch purred, stroking Suzaku's chest.

"All that MSG… will you still want to give me blowjobs?" Suzaku teased.

Lelouch laughed. "Nothing could stop me, Suzaku." He kissed Suzaku and snuggled closer to him. "D'you have an early morning tomorrow?"

"Not really," Suzaku said. "They took me off point for the Zero investigation. It's Gino's now."

"Oh." Lelouch looked up. "I'm sorry, love."

It was kind of wonderful having a partner who just _understood_ things like that.

"It's for the best," Suzaku said, genuinely meaning it. "Gino has more connections and experience than I do."

"Still…" Lelouch kissed Suzaku again. "It's fine. You'll get it next time."

Suzaku chuckled and drew him in closer. "Your confidence sustains me."

"My well-trained gag reflex sustains you," Lelouch corrected playfully, rubbing his leg against Suzaku's for a moment before sighing. "I'm beat. I really want another round, but I'm so sleepy."

"We'll set the alarm early," Suzaku promised. "It's been a while since we've had morning sex."

"Mmm… promise?" Lelouch asked.

Suzaku reached over and set the clock. "Done. Thirty minutes all to ourselves."

Lelouch grinned and pulled the covers over them. "Then get to sleep, Agent Kururugi. I want you well rested for the morning."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

It wasn't to be. More than an hour before their alarm was set to go off, the phone rang.

"Whazzit?" Suzaku asked, waking fully at the answer. "I… yes, of course. I'll be right there."

Lelouch looked at him, sleepy but curious. "What happened?"

Suzaku stared at Lelouch as if even he couldn't believe what he was saying. "He got Rivalz."

The idea behind dumping a body in a waste receptacle is to mask or destroy any evidence. This never worked, but it didn't seem to stop killers from favouring it. But Zero…

"He meant for us to find Riva- the body here. It's not a coincidence, it's a message."

"Not just here." Gino agreed. "Now. Before our shift, when the garbage was picked up. Maybe he wanted someone else on the job."

"Maybe he wanted us to know that he killed Rivalz yesterday. One day after he killed Anya."

"We would have found that out eventually." Gino pointed out.

"Yeah, but if he's trying to set a pattern, it means that he needs to kill someone else today. And I think he wants us to know that."

Gino considered this before shaking his head with a rueful grin. "Or we could be over-thinking it. He's never done anything like this before, back-to-back kills, targeting agents… what changed?"

"I don't know," Suzaku whispered. "I was hunting him for weeks, and I didn't see anything like this coming…"

"Hey." Gino came up behind Suzaku. "It's not your fault."

"If not mine…" Suzaku said softly before shaking himself. "I know. It's Zero's."

"Exactly. And now we have even more incentive to catch him, as if we didn't have enough before."

"Oi!" Someone Suzaku didn't recognize called over to them. "Coroner's done. Can we take the body?"

It felt wrong, treating Rivalz like any other victim, but what else was he? From Gino's expression, he was thinking the same thing.

"Go ahead." He sounded almost resigned. Suzaku shot him a concerned look, but Gino waved it down with his typical good humour. "Don't worry, Suzaku. He'll be fine."

"Alright," Suzaku agreed, deciding to keep a slightly closer watch on Gino until Kallen came back.

It wasn't until they were almost back at HQ that Gino perked up again. "Rivalz isn't an agent!"

"What?"

"_Wasn't_. Whatever. He was security."

"Yeah, so?" Suzaku asked, hoping Gino wasn't implying that that made Rivalz less important.

"So Zero clearly killed him, right? The signs, the signature, they were all there. But why? If he's trying to set a pattern of agents, then why Rivalz?"

Suzaku frowned, following the logic, but not sure he agreed. "Let's bring that up with the team."

"Right!" Gino said, brightly determined again. "And get Shirley, we need a good profiler."

Shirley had profiled Zero before, and done it well, but it hadn't helped. But that was before he'd changed. "If anyone can figure this new Zero, it's her," Suzaku agreed.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Shirley was still no help. "He shouldn't be doing this. It's not in his profile at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he respects the Bureau, _truly _respects it. He's playing with us, but as worthy adversaries, not the way most serial killers see us, as glorified street cops."

"There's nothing wrong with street cops." Suzaku said defensively. Most of his friends were street cops by now.

Shirley looked at him like he'd missed her point. "He thinks we're smart. Not as smart as him, perhaps, but he's willing to take luck into consideration. He considers us his equal."

"The entire FBI, equal to one man. And that's supposed to be a _compliment_?"

"From him? Yes," Shirley said. "What I'm getting at, though, is that he plays with us, but he doesn't _taunt_ us, because he's naturally wary. His kills all have a purpose, and they're done carefully, so that we know it's him, but can't follow up on that. These kills… even if they're part of his purpose, they're too personal, too likely to make us angry and lash out at him. He takes our relationship seriously, and wouldn't risk it without a good reason."

"What kind of reason?"

"For a man like Zero? Only two possibilities." Shirley said. "Power and love. Either of which would make him wholly unpredictable."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

"Lelouch?"

"Calling to check up on me?" Lelouch said cheekily before remembering that morning's news. "Sorry. How are you doing?"

"It's… fine. Everyone's still a little shook up, but we're getting focused. I guess that's better."

"Rivalz's family… have they been informed yet?"

Suzaku sighed. "Milly called them this morning. They were… Lelouch, I love you."

"I love you too," Lelouch said. "Just assure me you're not calling to tell me this because you think you're next."

"I'm not…" Suzaku trailed off. "I was never any good at lying to you."

There was a pause. "Come home as soon as you can. I want you here with me, where I know you're safe."

"Lelouch…" Suzaku smiled and closed his eyes. "I love you."

"Then live for me, Suzaku," Lelouch ordered.

"Yes, Your Highness."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO


	2. Keep You Safe

The next morning, Suzaku woke up alone, to the ringing of his alarm.

_Lelouch_

"Lelouch?" Suzaku tried not to panic. There were any number of perfectly reasonable explanations as to why his usually lazy lover had chosen to get up insanely early. "Lelouch!" Not panicking was getting harder. "LELOUCH!"

The sound of running feet was the most beautiful thing Suzaku had ever heard.

"What? What is it?" Lelouch burst into the room, looking frantic. "What happened?"

Suzaku grabbed him and held him close. "I didn't know where you were and I got so scared… god, Lelouch, don't do that to me ever again."

"Suzaku…" Lelouch said, relieved that it was nothing more serious. Then… "_Suzaku…_" As Suzaku's hands slid down his body, changing his embrace from protective to provocative. "You don't have time…"

"Just let me feel you," Suzaku demanded urgently. "Let me make sure you're real."

"I'm real," Lelouch promised, gasping as Suzaku tore off his clothes. "I'm real and I'm here and… _ah_, Suzaku…"

Suzaku stripped just as quickly, pressing against Lelouch, skin on skin. "Let me feel you, Lelouch…"

Lelouch grabbed his hair and kissed him deeply as they moved against each other, both hard, both working off adrenaline rushes, both fully enamoured with the other's body. "Suzaku, more…"

"Never enough." Suzaku groaned as he pressed Lelouch against the door. "Can never get enough of you."

Lelouch wrapped his legs around Suzaku's hips and let him set the pace, thrusting hard against Lelouch's erection, both of them trapped between their stomachs and aching for release.

"Suzaku." Lelouch moaned as he felt himself getting close. "Suzaku, I'm…" He groped between their bodies, fumbling for Suzaku's cock and wrapping his fingers around it once he found it and giving it a few practiced pulls.

Suzaku shouted and came, followed barely seconds later by Lelouch. They clung to each other as the spasms ripped through their bodies, leaving them in a pile of sweaty, exhausted limbs.

Suzaku recovered first and ran his hand through Lelouch's hair, kissing his forehead. Lelouch chuckled.

"Proof enough for you?"

"Sorry," Suzaku said, a little embarrassed. "I may have overreacted a little."

"A tich," Lelouch agreed, wriggling on Suzaku's lap. "How on earth are you going to get clean before you have to leave, hmm?"

"I'll just skip breakfast," Suzaku reasoned. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Oh no you won't!" Lelouch declared. "I got up early to make you fresh pancakes."

Well. That explained a lot. "You did?"

"I thought you could use a pleasant morning after yesterday," Lelouch explained. "To be fair, I wasn't planning on it being _this_ pleasant."

"You're amazing," Suzaku said, kissing him. "I guess… I guess I'll just be late."

Lelouch laughed. "Quick shower, and we'll see." He jumped up, reaching a hand down to Suzaku. "Well, hurry up!"

Suzaku took his hand, warmed by that gentle touch and the humbling feeling of gratitude that he occasionally felt around Lelouch. "I don't deserve you."

"Well you're stuck with me anyways!" Lelouch said cheerfully.

Suzaku smiled.

He was still smiling when he arrived at work, but it didn't last long.

"Suzaku, did you know Nina Einstein?"

Suzaku nodded. "She's one of the techs." He'd worked with her on a previous case.

"Zero got her." It was almost unsurprising to hear that now. Gino practically snarled. "While the coroner was finishing up the autopsy on Rivalz."

The timing… Suzaku shuddered. "How could he…"

"She was in her home, getting dressed for work," Gino said, still clearly furious. "He killed her in her bra."

That didn't sound like the respectful adversary Shirley had painted. "He's changing everything." Suzaku breathed. "His complete profile, he's changing it piece by piece."

"What the hell do you mean?"

Suzaku looked Gino in the eye. "I mean, I think Zero's one of us."

Gino had Suzaku explain his theory to the team.

"I'm not saying he's FBI, I'm just saying he's had profiler training at least. He's taking his own profile apart in bits and pieces, a little more with every kill. First he targeted an FBI agent when all his previous targets were political or political affiliates. Then he sets up a pattern of consecutive kills, when he's never set a timing pattern before. Then he breaks into Nina's house and attacks when she's at her most vulnerable. He's never invaded anyone's privacy like that before."

Shirley nodded grudgingly. "He's the most polite serial killer I've ever profiled. Still, there are aspects that remain constant. His kills are still asexual, clean, with no sign of struggle from the victim. Even Anya didn't fight back."

"And if he's changing, how long will that last?" Gino asked rhetorically. He shook his head. "He needs to be caught. Now. I don't care if he's FBI, CIA, or some sort of mystery organization, I want him off the streets and away from my people."

Suzaku bit back his concern. Gino looked like he'd aged years over the past few days. At least Kallen would be back tomorrow.

"There's one more possibility," Suzaku suggested. "This isn't Zero."

"What do you mean?" Shirley asked. "His signature's intact on all the vics."

"Even the things we didn't release," Suzaku agreed. "But there are people who know that signature as well as Zero does." He took a deep breath. "And they're almost all here in this room."

Milly's jaw tensed. "We've all gone through psych screening, Kururugi. None of us are the type of people to fall under the control of a serial killer; charismatic or not. _Polite _or not."

"I know," Suzaku said miserably. "And, out of everyone, I've spent the most time on his file so I know that… he's not _that_ attractive a serial killer. But. If these kills aren't him, if they're a copycat, than the imitator was either really lucky, or they have inside information."

Gino nodded. "We can't rule anything out at this point, but we also can't work without trust. Unless you have reason to suspect someone specific, I suggested we table that idea for now and work under the assumption that this is Zero's work."

Suzaku sighed, relieved. "Agreed. I just wanted to put it out there. I think it's him, just… a messed-up version of him."

Milly relaxed a little, shooting Shirley a small smirk. "How sure are we that it _is _a him?"

"Right now? I'm not sure of anything," Shirley admitted. "But his profile still matches a young Britannian male. That hasn't changed either."

"Well," Milly said, standing and bringing the meeting to an end. "That's something at least. Find him and bring him to me. I mean…" She smiled cruelly. "To justice."

"Yes ma'am." Gino managed a smile back.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Suzaku's phone rang about an hour before he was planning on leaving. "Hello?"

"Hey." Lelouch's voice sounded strange. "So. Guess what?"

"What?" Suzaku asked gamely. "Did you just run or something?"

"Not exactly," Lelouch answered. "I was changing the sheets on our bed, when I realized they smelled like me and you and sex."

Suzaku smiled. "Well, yeah."

"Yeah," Lelouch agreed. "So I kind of took a moment and… _hah_… um…"

Suzaku's eyes flew open and he nearly dropped the phone. "Lelouch are you… did you call to…" His eyes darted around, noting everyone within hearing distance. "How far along are you?" He asked, quieter.

"I'm under the sheets, surrounded by your scent, and so hard it hurts." Lelouch moaned. "Also, I'm naked."

_Dear Lord_… "You are such an ass…" Suzaku hissed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He hesitated, half wanting to hang up, half… "Are you touching yourself?"

"Yes." Lelouch gasped. "Wish it was you…"

"I do too," Suzaku said, resigning himself to hiding his erection. "Come for me?"

"You… might have to turn your phone down…" Lelouch warned as his breath sped up. "But keep… keep talking to me, Suzaku. I want to hear your voice."

Suzaku tucked under his desk and firmly planted his hand in plain sight, away from his aching cock. "Okay. I… um… I can't think of anything to say." Lelouch's only response was a drawn out moan. "Right! Well… ah… I should be home soon." Lelouch bit off a swear. "…maybe a little sooner than planned," Suzaku admitted. "I… I want to see you. I always want to see you. And, you know, kiss you and touch you and… god, I love you so much, Lelouch."

Lelouch came with a shout. Suzaku wanted him here, his warm body, his soft lips… and barring that, a cold shower at least.

"That was nice," Lelouch said, once he caught his breath. "Thanks. Laundry should be done by the time you get home."

"…I kind of hate you right now."

"Love you too!" Lelouch chirped and hung up.

Not even phone sex could distract Suzaku from the concerns that had been ruminating in his mind since he'd found out about Nina's death. It had reminded him why he'd been so adamant about being assigned the case in the first place, why he'd put in so many hours trying to catch Zero, why _this_ serial killer was different from all the others.

He walked through the front door and was confronted with the answer to all of the above.

Lelouch.

Before he said anything, he found himself wrapped in Lelouch's arms, Lelouch's scent teasing his senses, Lelouch's mouth pressing against and into his.

"Welcome home," Lelouch breathed against his lips once he moved back. "Sorry about the surprise call."

"No you're not. You never apologize when you're really sorry," Suzaku replied. "You only apologize when you're smug."

Lelouch grinned. "Well then, I'm smug about that surprise call. I will, however, offer to follow through. After two straight days of tragedy, you deserve at least one day to rest." Suzaku tensed. "…no."

Suzaku nodded slowly. "Nina Einstein. Did you ever meet her?"

Lelouch pulled away, looking as tired as Suzaku felt. "Through Milly. They were fairly close."

"Right," Suzaku said. "I forgot. I guess you kind of grew up with her then."

"We were never…" Lelouch shook his head. "Why her?"

Suzaku had been thinking about that. "I don't think Zero's targeting the agency. I think he's targeting one of the agents."

"Who?"

"I'm not sure," Suzaku said. "I thought Gino maybe, but Milly looks more likely now. Anya and Rivalz were both fairly close to Gino, but Nina wasn't. Milly was close with all three, Anya less, but still…"

"And not particularly close to Rivalz by choice," Lelouch mentioned, flinching only slightly under Suzaku's glare. "Well, he _was_ kind of stalkery."

"He's dead!" Suzaku snapped, then shook himself. "Sorry, that was… sorry, Lelouch."

Lelouch smiled softly. "It's fine. I'm not really good with stuff like this. I mean… when it's personal."

"I know," Suzaku said gently. "It's hard for me too. It was a lot easier when Zero was targeting political figures, even when…"

"Even when he started with my estranged brother," Lelouch finished for him. "I told you then, Clovis had been a stranger to me for years. We don't even share a name anymore."

"I know, but he was still…" Suzaku took a deep breath. "You go by Lamperouge, but you were born a vi Britannia. And you're close to the agency; you were childhood friends with half the staff. You dated Shirley and she's Zero's profiler."

"We're fucking, and you were lead on his case until recently," Lelouch pointed out. He seemed suspicious, like he knew where this was heading.

"Yeah, but he wasn't targeting agency-related people then," Suzaku said. "Lelouch, don't look at me like that. You're his perfect target; your family is politically active - more than almost any other single family in the world, and you're close to us, even if you're not working with us yet. You need to… I need you safe."

Lelouch looked unimpressed. "What are you proposing, Suzaku?"

"I know you're in the middle of your PhD, but… maybe you should visit Nunnally for a while."

Lelouch's expression turned outright hostile. "You're concerned, without much evidence, granted, that a serial killer might be targeting me and you want me to visit my blind sister. Have you gone _completely_ insane?"

Now that Suzaku thought about it, that may not have been the best way to present it to Lelouch. "I don't think… if you're away from me…"

"Oh, shut up," Lelouch snapped. "You arrogant… I'm not leaving. I'll take precautions, but I'm staying with you. For god's sake, Suzaku, you're asking me to abandon you! If anyone should leave it's you."

"I can't," Suzaku said, miserably. "My duty…"

Lelouch snorted. "_My_ duty is to keep Nunnally safe and you sane. Now. We're done talking about this, Suzaku. You have two choices; either take off your clothes and come to bed for a pre-supper romp, or go sulk in a corner while I get more housework done."

Suzaku looked around, only now noticing how pristine everything looked. "…one thing's for sure. You shouldn't do anymore cleaning."

Lelouch grinned and grabbed him by the tie. "Well, then…"

As usual, Suzaku gave in. Still, as Lelouch led him to the bedroom, he remained firm that he'd keep his lover safe.

"You really don't have to do this."

"Until this is over, I'm not letting you out of my sight unless you're surrounded be people. I'll drop you off and pick you up-"

"Like a mother hen."

"-and if your schedule changes I'll arrange for an escort if I'm unavailable."

Lelouch snorted. "My lover arranging for an escort. What's wrong with this picture?"

Suzaku pulled into the Natural Sciences parking lot. "Stop being a brat, Lelouch. I love you and I want you safe. Can you _please_ just give me this?"

Lelouch's glare softened, then melted. "Fine. But I want a good bye kiss, then."

More than happy to comply, Suzaku leaned over and kissed Lelouch on the lips. He was about to pull away when Lelouch grabbed his hair and deepened the simple kiss to something much more intense and wet and messy and… they were making out, weren't they? In the middle of a University parking lot in the pre-class rush. Suzaku moaned, embarrassingly aroused.

Someone thumped the hood of the car, making them both jump. A boy (who couldn't be old enough to be in University, he was just a kid) grinned and waved at Lelouch. Lelouch grinned back and pulled Suzaku in again.

"Wai- wait. Who was that?" Suzaku gasped.

"One of my students," Lelouch answered absently, between hot wet presses of lips against Suzaku's skin.

Suzaku tried to ignore how good that felt. "One of your _students_?"

"I teach undergrads, remember?" Lelouch said.

"…I thought you were an assistant."

Lelouch sighed. "I am. At this level, that means I teach. Do you pay any attention to what I do?"

_Uh oh_. "Of course, I…" He wasn't going to get out of this one. "It's not what you're going to do for the rest of your life, though?"

"No. I kind of hate teaching," Lelouch answered, still clearly peeved, but at least a little amused. "Once I graduate, I'm fast-tracked to take Milly's position once she gets promoted, you know that."

That much Suzaku did know. "Yeah, so does it really matter what you do this year, then? It'll change next year."

Lelouch looked a little sad at that. "That's not the point, love." He shrugged and sighed, pressing a final light kiss to Suzaku's cheek. "I'll call when I need a ride home. Until then, I'll be good."

"Thanks," Suzaku said, watching Lelouch walk into the building with that smirky student. He was pretty sure he'd screwed up, but wasn't sure how or how to make it better.

He didn't have much time to think about it either, once he got to work.

"You're late."

"Sorry, I had to drop off Lelouch." Suzaku hoped that would end things.

It didn't. "Fine. Now, get back in your car."

"What? Why?" Suzaku noticed Gino pouting from across the room. "What's going on?"

"You're picking Kallen up from the airport. All other agency employees are accounted for and we're not taking any risks. From the moment she steps through security, I want you with her."

It was no more than Suzaku demanded for Lelouch. Still…

"Her flight doesn't land for two hours."

Milly tossed him a magazine. "Now don't you regret being late?" She went back into her office and Suzaku caught Gino's eye again.

"Hey… sorry. I know you want to see her."

"Apparently I have to be here to coordinate," Gino said. "Can't take time off to make sure my girlfr-partner is safe."

Suzaku winced. "I'm _really_ sorry."

Gino sighed. "Just… bring her back to me."

"Will do, boss."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Rather than the magazine, Suzaku wheedled free wireless from airport security and actually got a lot of non-Zero-related work done by the time Kallen's flight landed.

"Sir!" One of the security guards ran up to Suzaku. "You're FBI, right? There's been an… incident."

Suzaku closed down his computer and stood. "Show me."

The guard led him to an interview room, one with all the cameras broken and a chair tipped over. None of which Suzaku noticed at first as he stared at the table and what was splayed across it.

Or rather, _who_ was splayed across it.

"No…" He walked in, contaminating the scene and not even caring. "No, Kallen…"

Not only dead, not only carrying Zero's mark as clear as day, Kallen was lying on her back, her legs wide apart and shirt unbuttoned. Suzaku wasn't really looking, but the smell of the room and the way the shadows played under her hiked-up skirt… she was wet. Aroused. God…

Suzaku covered his mouth and desperately tried not to be sick.

Gino and the others showed up minutes later. Suzaku saw Gino coming and stood his ground, not flinching.

The right hook wasn't much of a surprise.

"You said you'd bring her back to me!"

Suzaku didn't touch his bleeding lip or try to get up. "I'm sorry."

Gino kicked him.

"Weinberg!" One of the other agents pulled Gino away. Suzaku took a moment to assess the team Gino had picked. No one who'd known and loved Kallen.

Except for him. And Gino.

Suzaku stood and pushed his way to Gino. He forcibly turned the blond man around to face him. "Gino, I'm _sorry_."

It was a good thing they weren't in a public place, because Gino fell into Suzaku's arms and started shaking with soundless sobs at that. Suzaku held him and stroked his hair and gestured for the others to start processing the body. He didn't want Gino to see Kallen like that.

"I… I think I was in love with her," Gino whispered into Suzaku's hair. "I mean, before… Girls, guys, it didn't matter as long as if felt good, but with her…"

"I know," Suzaku soothed, imagining what he'd be like if he lost Lelouch. "I think she felt the same way."

Gino pulled away. "I… I can't. I can't see her like this, I can't walk the scene, I can't do my damn _job_ and catch the bastard that did this to her! I can't… I'm useless, Suzaku…"

Suzaku felt completely helpless. "Here, sit down, I'll get you something to drink." He was imitating the way Lelouch had handled him after Anya, and had that really only been three days ago?

As Suzaku tried not to pour coffee all over his shaking hands, his phone rang.

"Shit!" Mission not accomplished. Suzaku fumbled his phone open. "What?"

"Grumpy already?" Lelouch's asked. "Is Gino giving you a hard time?"

Suzaku closed his eyes. "Not now, Lelouch."

"Fine." The brat had the audacity to sound peeved. "I'm just calling because my afternoon classes were canceled. I was wondering if I could maybe help with filing or something."

"Not now…" Suzaku said again, when he realized there _was_ something Lelouch could do. "Actually, right now. I'll pick you up within the hour. Gino's coming too."

"He _is _giving you a hard time, isn't he?" Lelouch asked, sympathetically. "I'll be waiting."

"Thanks." Suzaku hung up.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Gino was quiet on the way over, barely breathing.

"Hey." Lelouch slid into the back seat without a complaint. "What's up?"

"Kallen's dead," Gino said tonelessly.

Silence reigned.

"If this is a joke…" Lelouch said slowly.

"It's not," Suzaku said sharply.

"Oh. God." In the rear-view mirror, Suzaku could see Lelouch curling up. "She just flew in today…"

Gino swallowed and Suzaku could see his adam's apple moving in his peripheral vision. He made a decision.

"We're going home."

"…what?"

"We're taking Gino home for now. This isn't the time for… he needs… we're taking him home."

Lelouch's eyes met his in the mirror and Lelouch nodded. "Alright."

Suzaku steered Gino onto one of the kitchen chairs and left to make tea. Lelouch said down next to Gino and watched him silently for a moment.

"You loved her."

Gino nodded wordlessly.

"You miss her."

Another nod.

"You want to remember her so badly, and want to forget her just as much. Part of you wished she'd never existed, if knowing her causes this much pain."

"…what?"

Lelouch reached out and caressed Gino's cheek. "I never realized how beautiful you were until now. Until I saw you mourning."

Gino stared. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Lelouch kissed him.

It was a gentle kiss, a touch of lips, a light pressure with a promise of more. Gino didn't react other than to stare, horrified.

"It's not much," Lelouch said. "But it can help. Momentary bliss, whiting out the pain with the ecstasy of sensation." He kissed Gino again, this time more insistently. "I know you want me. I also know it's purely physical. I know that you don't even really like me, but when Kallen's not in your bed, it's me you think of as you jerk off."

"That's not…"

"Shh…" Lelouch soothed. "One time offer, Gino. No strings, just to ease your grief. You can have me." This time when he kissed Gino, Gino kissed back. "As long as Suzaku is there too."

Gino looked dazed, confused. "Yeah, okay…" Lelouch leaned back and tugged on Gino's shirt until he followed the gesture, planting himself in Lelouch's lap and kissing him deeply, grinding against him mindlessly.

Then Suzaku walked in.

"…the hell?"

Gino didn't stop. It was possible that he couldn't. His did, however, shift from Lelouch's mouth to his neck, still moving.

Lelouch gasped softly and deftly undid Gino's pants, wrapping his hand around Gino's cock and working it with practiced motions. His eyes never left Suzaku's.

Gino moaned and bit down, making Lelouch yelp. He was thrusting into Lelouch's grip now, hard and leaking and desperate. Lelouch licked his lips and mouthed Suzaku's name as his wrist twisted and Gino came, gasping. As Gino finally relaxed, Lelouch's other hand reached out for Suzaku. Suzaku took it, his eyes asking the same question over and over again that Lelouch had yet to answer.

"He needs this," Lelouch said simply. "And I'm willing to give it to him."

"Give what to him?" Suzaku asked, although he had a pretty good idea.

"I'm going to take him to our bedroom and let him fuck me," Lelouch said. "And you're coming with, and you're going to fuck him."

"Wha?" Gino asked, lifting his head from Lelouch's shoulder. "No, I… I don't bottom."

Lelouch kissed his cheek. "Well, this is a good opportunity to learn."

Suzaku glared at them both. "I haven't agreed to this."

"Mmm… but you will," Lelouch said. "You can't not and still be the Suzaku I love."

Gino was looking haunted again. "Please. It's coming back and I can't… please, Suzaku."

"Either way he's fucking me, Suzaku. But I want you there, with us."

Suzaku bowed to his lover's whim.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

"Ah, I'm ready… Suzaku, tell him I'm ready!"

He clearly was, but Suzaku wasn't sure Gino would hear it if he said anything. They were all naked, with Lelouch lying on the bed, shamelessly spread and open as Gino worked him. Gino was sitting, staring at Lelouch almost in a trance as his fingers worked methodically in and out, corkscrewing and stretching. Suzaku was pretty sure he'd never prepared Lelouch that thoroughly, but Gino showed no sign of stopping, of replacing his fingers with his more-than-ready cock.

"Gino, Suzaku, _please_…"

Suzaku leaned forward, one hand on Gino's shoulder. "Gino."

Gino jumped, the motion making Lelouch yowl. Suzaku shut out his lover. "Gino, he's ready for you."

"And you?" Gino asked vaguely. "Aren't you supposed to get me ready?"

Suzaku found himself uninterested. "I don't think I'll be…"

"Do it, Suzaku," Lelouch insisted. "I want us to do this together."

"But I'm not…"

Lelouch snorted impatiently and sat up, twisting and leaning past Gino to wrap his mouth around Suzaku's cock. It wasn't flaccid, but it wasn't hard either. Three hard sucks, some clever use of tongue and playful fingers around and under Suzaku's sensitive sac took care of that.

Lelouch pulled back and smiled at Gino. "I can suck you while he prepares you, if you like."

Gino nodded and Lelouch kissed him, passing the lube to Suzaku behind his back. Suzaku looked at it and sighed. "Lelouch scoot down and lie back." Lelouch did. "Gino, straddle him." Gino did, his cock pointing straight at Lelouch's nose. Lelouch steadied it with one hand, bringing it into his mouth.

He was starting slowly, Suzaku noticed, paying attention to the head and interspacing firm licks with soft kisses. It was a distraction technique and it worked well. Suzaku managed to slip one finger into Gino without him even noticing. Two made him clench and moan, but a firmer suck and soft hum from Lelouch had him relaxing again.

For a man who didn't bottom, Gino opened up rather quickly and easily. Neither Suzaku nor Lelouch had been this straightforward their first time bottoming and Suzaku wondered if it was Lelouch's mouth or if Gino had lied.

"Ready?" Lelouch asked from under Gino. Gino nodded, followed by Suzaku. Lelouch slid up until he was face-to-face with Gino and kissed him. "Fuck me, Gino."

Suzaku watched Gino entering Lelouch out of morbid curiosity. It looked… god, Suzaku wanted to be in his place. Even though he wasn't sure where Lelouch had gotten the condom from, and that wasn't a bad idea, and were there any more, and…

"Suzaku." Lelouch snapped. "Get in him."

Instinct took over and Suzaku held Gino open and pressed into him; physically enjoying the tight heat, but mentally flailing at the fact that it was Gino's voice that groaned out under him in pleasure.

The more he thought about it, the more wrong this seemed.

So he stopped thinking.

Gino's hair fell like a curtain, obscuring Lelouch's face from Suzaku, but doing nothing to muffle the sounds coming from him.

"God, Gino… right there… did you dream about this? Does it live up to your _ah_… expectations?"

Lelouch was always vocal when he bottomed.

Gino had the same reaction Suzaku usually did, dipping his head and kissing Lelouch deeply until he had to break away to breathe and gasp as Lelouch clenched purposefully around him.

"Don't stop." Suzaku could only see Lelouch's arms, wrapped around Gino's shoulders as he held him close. "You feel so… oh, Gino…" The rest of Lelouch was hidden under Gino and Suzaku was very nearly as angry as he was aroused and he was _very _aroused because he was fucking a nicely tight ass that moved under him as strongly as he moved into it and he could hear Lelouch and if only he wasn't moaning the wrong fucking name…

Gino's orgasm surprised Suzaku; the way he suddenly stilled throwing Suzaku's rhythm off, the way he tightened around Suzaku's cock sending sharp bolts of pleasure up his back, the low moan and reciprocal "Ah, Gino…" from Lelouch adding to Suzaku's rage as he slammed into Gino hard and came with an almost vicious thrust.

They both collapsed onto Lelouch. Lelouch kissed Gino's cheek, then fought his way through the hair to find Suzaku's lips. "Thank you."

And Suzaku did what he always did; he took his anger and hid it away.

"You didn't…" Gino shifted and Suzaku saw what he was talking about, Lelouch's erection, still unsatisfied.

"It's fine," Lelouch said. "I don't need… ah, Suzaku…"

Suzaku, as a general rule, didn't argue with Lelouch when he was being particularly idiotic. It wasn't a common occurrence, but when it happened, arguing was rarely helpful.

So he usually just did something. Like lean over Lelouch's body and take his cock into his mouth and suck on it and pump it and bring Lelouch to orgasm within ten seconds of starting.

Arguing was overrated.

Gino watched Suzaku swallow and and moved forward, clearly intending to kiss him. Suzaku jerked back.

"So-sorry. Reflex."

Gino smiled self-deprecatingly. "It's reflex to pull back from a kiss after sex?"

"Suzaku's reflexes can make some things awkward," Lelouch said smoothly, shooting Suzaku a quizzical look. "The important thing is, how are you feeling?"

"Tired," Gino said. "Sad but not… too sad. I'm… part of me wonders why the hell I did that, but mostly I'm grateful. I'm able to think straight now, which is an improvement."

Lelouch nodded solemnly. "Especially if you want to catch Zero."

"Thank you," Gino said, leaning against Lelouch until their foreheads met. "Thank you for so much."

Once Gino left, Suzaku stared at the floor. Lelouch sighed. "Just say it."

"I'm not comfortable with what just happened."

"Of course you're not," Lelouch snapped. "You've been making eyes at him for months and I took away the _intrigue_ of crushing after the more experienced, _taken_ agent. At least you got to fuck him." He stormed past Suzaku.

Or tried to. Suzaku grabbed his arm. "Is that what you think?"

Lelouch jerked in his grip. "I do have eyes, you know." He smiled and it was cruel. "You haven't thanked me yet. At least Gino was grateful."

"Thanked you?" Suzaku's anger, usually controlled, snapped. He slammed Lelouch into the wall. "_Thanked you_? For whoring yourself out? For pulling me into that without even discussing it with me? For putting me in the position to do… _that_ or deny one of my closest friends some degree of comfort?"

Lelouch pushed against Suzaku's grip, leaning even closer to him. "Why else did you bring him here?"

Suzaku's grip slipped as he processed that. Lelouch thought that he'd set this up? That was so… "I'd never do something like that. I love _you_. I never thought of Gino that way, no matter what you think, and hearing you call his name out just made me so _furious_…"

Lelouch didn't meet his eyes. "I did it for you. I thought it was what you wanted."

"It wasn't. I never…" Suzaku needed Lelouch to understand. "I only ever wanted you. And if I wanted something else, I'd tell you first. I'd never do that to you."

"Oh," Lelouch said in a small voice. "That's… I need a shower."

Suzaku knew what he meant. He still cared about Gino, but having his scent on his skin… "Can I join you?"

"Please."


	3. Hide You Away

_Anya_

_Rivalz_

_Nina_

_Kallen_

"And one more today," Gino said steadily. Everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably. "We've lost two brilliant agents, a wizard tech, and the only security guard who knew where all the snacks are stashed." Gino shook his head. "We've already lost too many, and I'm tired of waiting to see who we lose next. We are taking the fight to Zero."

Suzaku leaned forward with everyone else. As much as he still hated what had happened yesterday, he couldn't deny that Gino was looking better. He looked rested and sharp and… vengeful. Suzaku was faintly glad he hadn't seen Gino's face as they'd fucked since that would be _really _distracting right about now.

…was Lelouch right? Did he have some kind of latent crush on the senior agent?

Not the point. The point was that Gino was healthy and on the warpath. At this rate, they'd get Zero before he could kill again.

After the meeting, Gino's phone went off. He looked at the incoming number with some surprise and answered. Suzaku couldn't hear anything, but going by Gino's facial expressions the surprise was a pleasant one. A lead?

"Hey, Suzaku, I'm taking off for a bit. Cover me?" Gino asked, his eyes flickering with something. Guilt? For leaving Suzaku here while he hunted down a lead? Suzaku smiled.

"I've got your back," He assured him. "Go get him."

That flicker came back, stronger, before Gino smiled brightly. "Thanks."

Suzaku watched him leave, noticing the bounce in his step. He shook his head; somehow Gino was back.

"Hey. Can I come in?"

Gino unlocked his apartment. "I really wasn't expecting your call."

"Did Suzaku suspect anything?"

"He thinks I'm following a lead on Zero. We don't have much time…"

Lelouch smiled and pulled Gino in for a hard kiss. "Then you'd better strip fast, pretty boy."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

When Gino wasn't back after an hour, Suzaku didn't think twice about it. After two hours without even checking in, he started worrying. At three hours he was formulating what to say to Milly.

Everything he could think of started with "I think I got another agent killed."

When his phone rang, Suzaku jumped and answered it. "Gino?"

"Not quite as ego-flattering," Lelouch said lazily. "Especially after yesterday's fight."

"I'm sorry Lelouch, but Gino's hunting down a lead and I think he might be in trouble."

Lelouch's warm laugh came over the line. "You're just a barrel of bad luck lately, aren't you Suzaku?"

It wasn't far from what Suzaku had been thinking himself, but it wasn't like Lelouch to talk like that. "Lelouch, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lelouch sounded satisfied. "I just finished my thesis."

Suzaku sighed. "You've been working too hard lately, and my problems haven't been helping. You should get some sleep."

"I wanna fuck you," Lelouch said. "I don't think I've ever wanted you as much as I do right now. I want to taste your skin and your mouth and your seed and your everything. I want to wear you like a second skin and then wrap around you like a… a boa constrictor." He paused. "That was less than sexy. Sorry."

"Lelouch are you… drugged?"

"Something not dissimilar!" Lelouch agreed. "Don't worry about me, though. I'll just jerk off until my hand gets tired, then fall asleep, then you can come home and wake me with a romanitc kiss. And then we can fuck."

"Where are you right now?" Suzaku tore through his desk searching for his keys.

"Home, silly. Where else would I be?" Lelouch laughed. "Roaming the streets, looking for trouble? Ah, but trouble's so easy to find. No challenge."

Found them. "Stay there, I'm on my way."

"Aye aye." Lelouch laughed again and hung up.

Milly caught Suzaku on his way out. "Where are you going?"

"Lelouch." Suzaku said. "I think he's in trouble. Maybe Zero."

Milly shook her head. "Unlikely. Zero's already had his victim today."

"No he-" Suzaku stopped. "Gino."

Milly's eyes narrowed. "You knew?"

"I knew he was out, tracking a lead… where was he found?"

"In his apartment," Milly said coolly. "With no sign of forced entry."

"Zero's a master of getting in and out of places," Suzaku said.

"He was naked, on his bed, with signs of recent ejaculation. His," Milly added, making Suzaku's brain stutter to a halt. "And signs of less recent anal sex."

"…what?"

Milly scowled. "Right now, the working theory is that he was Zero's inside man and Zero just discarded him."

Suzaku stared. "What?"

Suzaku should have confessed right then. It wasn't the fear of losing his job, or even fear of being removed from the Zero case that stopped him. It was fear for Lelouch, alone and apparently drugged in their apartment.

He mumbled an apology and ran off, his mind racing a mile a minute as he tore out of the parking lot and sped towards his home.

"Lelouch?"

No answer, but from what Lelouch had said on the phone, there was really only one place he could be.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch groaned, kneeling on the bed, fisting his cock. "I can't seem to… help me."

Suzaku gathered him up in his arms. "Shh, it's gonna be okay. We'll get you to a hospital, get you some help."

"No, don't…" Lelouch pressed Suzaku's hand to his groin and moaned. "I don't need anything but you. Please, Suzaku, make me come."

Suzaku kissed Lelouch's forehead. "Just relax, Lelouch. Everything will be fine."

Lelouch made a small impatient noise and mashed their lips together. "You damn idiot!" He gasped once they parted. "I need the rush to counteract the drug, moron."

"…oh. Um…" Suzaku shoved Lelouch back on the bed and leaned over him, kissing him deeply and thoroughly as his hand moved fast and hard over and around Lelouch's erection.

Lelouch arched and shouted as he came, and Suzaku swallowed his cry, milking him through his orgasm. By the time he was finally done, Lelouch was a boneless puddle of satiety and Suzaku was seriously hard.

"Thanks," Lelouch breathed. "For some reason, I couldn't on my own."

Suzaku stared. "What the hell was that?"

"_Easy_." Lelouch sighed. "Date-rape drug. Induces arousal and lowered inhibitions until a significant adrenaline rush, like orgasm, overpowers it." He reached out, undoing Suzaku's pants and stroking him slowly as he continued. "It's not ideal; there's no memory loss and the moment it wears off the victim is fully aware of what happened. But it's popular in some circles, with people who just think the victim needs convincing."

Lelouch lecturing was hot. Suzaku bucked into his hand, biting back a moan when Lelouch responded by gripping him more firmly and moving faster. "Why… why's it called _Easy_?"

Lelouch shrugged. "Because it's easy to use, easy to get, and makes people easy. Also, it wears off easily, so that might be… did you know that you're possibly the most beautiful person in the world?"

Suzaku shuddered and came, coating Lelouch's thigh and stomach.

"Mmm… nice." Lelouch licked off his hand. "Thanks for coming home so quickly."

Suzaku wasn't about to be that easily (hah) distracted. "How did you get drugged?"

"Cookies," Lelouch explained. "One of my students gave me left over home-baked cookies from a party. One of them must have been laced."

"Who did it?"

"It doesn't matter. She didn't bake them and they weren't intended for me and it's over now so let it go." Lelouch kissed Suzaku's cheek. "You're not in trouble for skipping work are you?"

"Maybe." Suzaku admitted. "Things are… well, they're a mess. Gino's dead."

Lelouch skipped past disbelief to despair. "Gino… but he was… we just… you said he was Zero's ultimate target. That's why he took out Anya and Kallen, and…"

"Shh…" Suzaku held Lelouch close. "I'm sorry, Lelouch. I should have been more careful. I should have gone with him. This is my-"

"Stop it!" Lelouch shouted, wrenching free from Suzaku's arms. "Just stop it now. None of this is your fault. It's Zero's and, damn it, it's Gino's a little if he went after a lead without backup. You're not the center of the goddamn universe, Suzaku. Sometimes shitty things happen that have nothing to do with you. Not everything is fate making you pay for a mistake you made when you were ten!"

Suzaku shuddered once and then Lelouch was holding him. "I don't want you there anymore," Lelouch said softly. "I want you to stay here, with me. Just…" He pressed his lips softly to Suzaku's, slowly undressing him. "Just stay with me, Suzaku."

"Lelouch…" Suzaku had duties and shoes to fill, but Lelouch was here and begging, and Suzaku was so sad and tired and Lelouch was so warm and soft and gentle…

Once Suzaku was naked and lying next to Lelouch, exchanging kisses and touches on top of the covers, Lelouch finally relaxed. "Everything you need, Suzaku" He promised. "Right here."

And Suzaku closed his eyes and let Lelouch take care of him.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

The unfortunate thing about Suzaku, Lelouch thought as he yawned into his morning coffee, was that when you comforted him, he got comforted.

"We'll need to bring in more outside people, which means a Zero 101 session or two," Suzaku planned. "Shirley can cover that, she knows how to explain things better than I do anyways. In the meantime, Gino's lead called him on his cellphone. If we can get that phone…"

Lelouch smiled fondly and let Suzaku drone on. It was cute the way he managed details without taking a step back to see the big picture. A flaw, perhaps, but an endearing one, at least to Lelouch.

"…and then I'll take you hard against my desk in front of everyone. What do you think?"

Lelouch thought that he'd tuned most of that out, but the last bit sounded good. "You caught me. I wasn't listening. It's _early_ Suzaku."

"Early to bed, early to rise…" Suzaku said. Lelouch snorted.

"I wonder if Zero's an early riser. I bet Shirley would know."

"Well, you can ask her when we get there today."

"I still don't see why I have to come."

"You stayed home and managed to get drugged. I'm taking you with me wherever I go from now on."

Lelouch yawned again. "I like my idea better, of both of us staying home and seeing if we can beat our personal best of eight rounds."

"Really only seven." Suzaku said. "Round five, I didn't come and round six, you didn't."

"Seven orgasms each, eight rounds. We've been over this," Lelouch purred. "Wouldn't mind being over something else right now…"

Suzaku pecked his cheek. "Don't start, you're surprisingly sexy when you whine. Come on."

Lelouch hesitated, unsure if that was a compliment or an insult, before following Suzaku to the car.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

The second time Lelouch dropped off to sleep by Suzaku's desk, Suzaku shooed him away.

"Go to the break room and nap on the couch," He suggested.

"So much for keeping me with you," Lelouch said mildly, yawning again. He kissed Suzaku's cheek. "Come get me if something happens. Or when lunch time rolls around."

Suzaku kissed him back. "Keep your phone on, then." Lelouch chuckled lightly and nodded to Milly as he left.

About two hours later, Milly called Suzaku into her office. Suzaku suspected she was going to put him on lead for the Zero case again. They were running out of agents with experience with him.

He was wrong.

"Explain this."

Suzaku looked at the report. It was from Gino's autopsy. "Explain what?"

"How _your_ DNA showed up when we tested the semen up Weinberg's ass."

_Shit_. "I was… we weren't…" Suzaku pulled himself together. "It was after Kallen was found. Gino was a mess."

"So you fucked him better?" Milly demanded. "And then he's found dead the next day, naked and marked and covered in his own come and _do you have any idea how this looks_?"

Suzaku, in fact, did. "Am I under arrest?"

Milly shook her head. "No, you have an iron-clad alibi for almost all the murders. You are, however, suspended."

That was almost worse. "But Zero…"

"Gets exactly what he would have wanted." Milly snapped. "I know. But something like this… I can't overlook it, Kururugi. I'm not sure I'd even want to if I could."

Suzaku swallowed and took out his badge and firearm.

"Milly!" One of the junior agents rushed into the room. "It's Shirley." Both Milly and Suzaku froze. "She's dead. Zero got her."

It was worse than Kallen, worse than the descriptions Suzaku had heard of Gino. Zero hadn't just killed Shirley and marked her, he'd clearly violently raped her repeatedly beforehand.

Suzaku desperately wanted to know how this fit into Zero's profile but his profiler was lying on the floor of her office, wearing only her shoes and socks and half of her bra barely covering her left breast, blood and other substances oozing from between her legs. At least he hadn't obviously hurt her in any other ways; there was no sign of bruising or abrasions, at least not until one of the braver agents turned her over to double check that Zero's signature was complete and exposed a viciously red rug burn over her lower back and upper thighs.

The room reeked of sex. Or things more violent than sex.

"Suzaku?" Suzaku flinched at the innocently curious question. "Are you meeting? Should I leave?"

Suzaku looked up and saw Lelouch, curious and slightly rumpled from sleep, watching him and the small group gathered in front of and just inside Shirley's office.

"Yeah," Suzaku said. "Yeah, you should leave."

Lelouch didn't. "What's wrong? You look…" His eyes darted between Suzaku and the half-open door and before Suzaku could move to stop him, he'd pushed past, far enough to see in. "Shirley… oh god…"

"Get the civilian out!" Milly snapped. Suzaku grabbed Lelouch and pulled him back. "Kururugi, leave your badge and gun and get out. Take Lelouch with you."

Suzaku nodded jerkily and guided Lelouch out, seating him at Suzaku's desk while Suzaku placed his gun and badge on Milly's desk. When Suzaku returned, Lelouch was looking at him calmly, almost coldly.

"There's no way he didn't leave traces behind after that," Lelouch ground out. "He screwed up."

"It doesn't matter right now," Suzaku said. "Shirley, Gino, Kallen… they're still dead."

Lelouch stood and cradled Suzaku's face in his hands. "But you're not." He kissed Suzaku gently. "Take me home."

As Lelouch prepared lunch, Suzaku was left with nothing to do but worry. He turned the TV on and off four times before searching for something else to do. His eyes landed on Lelouch's thesis.

"Lunch is ready if you're hungry," Lelouch called out about half an hour later. Suzaku stared at the last few pages before gently closing the book and joining Lelouch in the kitchen.

"I'm not really hungry," He admitted.

Lelouch shrugged. "I'm not either, it was mostly just something to do."

Suzaku backed Lelouch against the counted and kissed him. "I can think of better things to do."

There was only a brief moment of uncertain hesitation before Lelouch wound his arms around Suzaku's neck and smiled. "Show me?"

He was so incredibly beautiful, Suzaku thought as they moved together on the bed. They fit together so well after all these years, reacting to the other without a word needing to be spoken. He loved Lelouch, and it wasn't Lelouch's beauty or grace that he loved, but Lelouch himself. That being said, the fact that Lelouch _was_ beautiful was undeniable.

And never more so than here, face flushed in ecstasy, eyes half-closed with pleasure and shining under long lashes, lips red and swollen and lightly parted as he gasped and kissed and came.

He was such an incredibly beautiful monster.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch sighed as they collapsed, breathing hard together. "That was…"

"The last time," Suzaku admitted to himself.

"Hm?" Lelouch asked curiously. Suzaku, rather than answering in words, grabbed his wrists and handcuffed him to the headboard. "…Suzaku we generally talk these things through before… are you still mad about Gino?"

"And Kallen and Nina and Anya and Rivalz and, god, Shirley. How could you do that to her? You never even touched her when you were dating."

Lelouch was silent for a long while. Suzaku was impatient. "Lelouch?"

"Hush," Lelouch said, somehow imperious even when chained to his own headboard. "I'm considering the option of denying everything and protesting my innocence, just to make you say out loud what you know." He smirked. "What you wish you didn't know."

It was the smirk that made Suzaku back away. "You… you're…"

"Yes?"

"You're Zero."

Lelouch smiled, his eyes flashing with cruel amusement. "Very good, Suzaku."

Suzaku had been hoping he'd made a mistake. That the evidence was wrong. That Lelouch wasn't a sociopathic murderer.

Lelouch had crushed that fragile hope with a smile and a sentence.

"Was it my thesis?" Lelouch asked. "I saw you reading it. I do have to say, it's easier to get into the mind of a serial killer when you are one."

"You… you killed your own brother."

"Who, Clovis?" Lelouch laughed. "I did indeed. You know, I never swatted flies because Nunnally felt bad for them. Then I shot my brother through the head. Funny how that worked out."

"You're a monster."

"Well. Yes." Lelouch cocked his head. "The question is, Suzaku… what are you going to do about it?"

"I should arrest you."

Lelouch laughed. "You're suspended, remember? You'd have to call Milly and get her to arrest me. I bet she would, especially after Shirley…"

Suzaku's cold despair flared into hot anger and he wrapped his fingers around Lelouch's throat. "I should kill you."

"Go ahead." Lelouch coughed. "Jail, death, it's all the same to me, Suzaku. Anything that takes me away from you is intolerable."

Suzaku nearly jumped back. "What? That's… you don't mean that. You've just been using me, the same way you use everyone…"

"Idiot boy," Lelouch said fondly. "I am deeply and irrevocably in love with you."

"Gino wasn't… Milly wasn't… it was me?"

"It was always you," Lelouch said. "I will move heaven and earth to be with you, even if it's like this. Your career ruined, my freedom in your hands… it's still better than fading out of your life like an old painting that no one bothers to care for."

"I care," Suzaku protested. "I always cared. I love you."

"Then decide," Lelouch whispered. "What to do with me."

Suzaku hesitated. "For now… for now I'll keep you here." The moment the words were out of his mouth, he felt better. "You can't hurt anyone here and I can take care of you. You're sick, Lelouch."

"I'm not," Lelouch corrected gently. "I'm evil. You can't fix that Suzaku, not even by loving me. But… I'm touched that you'd want to try."

"More than try," Suzaku said, determined. "I'll make you better. I'll make you the man you were before this started."

"The man you fell in love with," Lelouch said softly.

"Yeah."

Lelouch shook his head. "You fell in love with the killer, Suzaku. I watched you hunt me, with more passion and dedication than you spent on living with me, and I know how much you hate Zero. But I am Zero. Completely. And you love me. So. Where does that leave you?"

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

It turned out that it left him feeding Lelouch by hand and leading him to the bathroom and trailing his backup gun on him as he showered.

"The gun is overkill," Lelouch said as he rinsed his hair, his back arching in a lean curve that Suzaku ached to taste. "Your barbaric strength would be more than enough."

"Don't talk," Suzaku said, instead of stripping and getting into the shower like he wanted to.

Lelouch laughed. "Or what? You'll shoot me?" He turned the taps off, dripping over the floor and Suzaku's clothes as he leaned in to kiss Suzaku deeply. "If you're not willing to shoot me for what I did to Gino and Shirley, you're not going to shoot me for talking." Suzaku pressed the barrel into Lelouch's side and Lelouch laughed again. "Or for kissing you. Or for…" He dropped to his knees.

Lelouch wasn't going for finesse tonight. He sucked and licked and pressed and moaned and worked Suzaku's orgasm out of him within the space of minutes. He swallowed every last drop and tucked Suzaku gently back in.

"So… back to bed?"

As Suzaku tightened the cuffs around Lelouch's wrists, he found himself justifying his actions, letting Lelouch to that for (to) him. It was all in the service of the greater good, keeping Lelouch here and sated and not out there killing people. This time tomorrow, Zero would have missed a day and Milly would know that something had changed.

Suzaku hoped he had a plan by then. Because even sleeping as far away from where Lelouch was cuffed to the bed as possible, Lelouch managed to touch him casually as he tried to get comfortable, and those touches were sending sharp spikes of mingled desire and revulsion down Suzaku's spine. He needed to think up something better.

The next morning, all he could think of was that they were out of milk. And bread. And wasn't this Lelouch's job?

"You basically kept me under house arrest for three days," Lelouch pointed out. "Afraid that Zero would get me, which did add some irony at least."

Suzaku glared. "I don't want to hear it." He snapped the cuffs shut, leaving Lelouch's arms hanging from the cast iron shower rod, more than strong enough to keep him there. "I'll be back in less than half an hour."

At least Lelouch was clothed this time. "I'll try not to get into trouble until then," Lelouch promised, looking far from helpless even chained up.

Suzaku shot out of the driveway, barely looking around, and missed the boy who slipped in through a window.

Lelouch tugged on the cuffs mostly out of boredom. Sooner than he expected, he heard a tentative voice call out his name.

"In here, Rolo."

The door burst open and Rolo raced in, taking in the view as Lelouch beamed at him. "You got my message. I'm so proud of you."

In two steps Rolo was in front of Lelouch, his hands gripping the front of Lelouch's shirt as he reached up to kiss him. "I'll always come when you call, _nii-san_."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

There were a lot of kinds of bread. Suzaku realized. Then he realized he didn't care. He grabbed a loaf and shoved it into his basket and moved on.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Once Rolo unlocked Lelouch's cuffs, he was pinned against the door by his grateful rescuee.

"Oh, Rolo, I am so glad to see you." Lelouch pressed urgent kisses against and into Rolo's mouth, palming the front of his pants, pleased to feel Rolo already hard. "Did you set everything up?"

"Just like you said." Rolo gasped bucking into Lelouch's hand. "H-here…" He pressed a small remote control into Lelouch's other hand.

Lelouch grinned. "You are so…" He kissed Rolo deeply, rubbing harder, more insistently, until the boy arched and cried out under him before his legs gave way and he slid to the floor.

"Rolo." Lelouch smiled at him, kissing his hair. "There's one more thing I need you to do for me."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Did they have eggs? Suzaku picked some up just in case. That was the last of the food staples. With this, he could stay with Lelouch for days, never needing to leave until he decided what to do with him. True, it was just delaying the inevitable, but right now, that was what Suzaku needed.

He paid and left, walking quickly to his car.

"Suzaku."

He turned towards the voice, frowning at the sandy-haired boy who'd called out. "Do I know you?"

"No." The answer came readily. "But I know you. Professor Lamperouge talked about you."

Suzaku didn't want to think of Lelouch right now. "Are you one of his students?"

The boy laughed. "You could say that. He taught me a lot of things. See, I was raised in a rather conservative environment. I was told that things like kissing and touching and masturbation were evil. So, while it may not have been on the curriculum, Lelouch taught me a lot."

The name change didn't go unnoticed. "Who the hell are you?"

"He talked about you, you know. I don't know if it was to make me jealous, or just because he can't not. He would show me how to jerk off, his hand guiding mine, and he'd talk about you. How you liked it, how you liked to tease him. He would suck me, then talk about how you tasted, and when I sucked him…" The boy laughed. "You couldn't shut him up. I'd never seen you until you dropped him off, but I feel like I know you." He sneered. "You're wearing more clothes than I expected."

Suzaku dropped the bags and slammed the boy into a nearby car. "Who. The hell. Are you?"

"Rolo Halliburton," The boy said breathlessly. "And once Lelouch figures out what a faithless bastard you are, I'll be your replacement."

"You little…" Suzaku slammed his fist into Rolo's face. "You stupid, ignorant little…"

Rolo spat blood and started laughing. "You're calling _me _ignorant?" His laughter faded into an insane smile. "It's ten am, agent Kururugi. Do you know where your lover is?"

Suzaku released him, horrified, and made a mad dash to his car. Rolo let him get there, search his pockets, and look up frantically before waving the keys he'd stolen and dashing off.

Hopefully this would buy Lelouch enough time…

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Lelouch familiarly smiled at the security guards and they smiled back, just like every other time he'd walked into the building. He pinned on his 'visitor' ID and strolled into Milly's corner office.

"Good morning, Milly."

Milly looked tired, old. Lelouch smiled. "Can we talk?"

"If this is about Kururugi…"

Lelouch shook his head. "No, Suzaku's not important right now. I'm here to talk about Zero."

Milly looked, if possible, more tired. "What about him?"

"What would you do," Lelouch asked, "if Zero was here now, offering to answer any three questions. What would you ask?"

"I don't have time for this."

Lelouch slammed his hand down on the desk. "Make time. Three questions, Milly."

Milly pursed her lips, but asked. "Why did he change?"

"Because he'd achieved his previous objective and was working towards a new one," Lelouch said. "Two more."

"But why change his style?"

"Because these kills were more personal, and he wanted to make them more meaningful. Shirley may have been over the top but… history. You know how it is."

Milly looked at Lelouch as if seeing him for the first time. "Who are you?"

Lelouch smiled. "Are you asking me or Zero? Because the answers are rather interchangeable."

"No…" Milly shook her head. "Are… are you here for me?"

"Why do I surround myself with such egoists?" Lelouch asked rhetorically. "In a way I'm here for you, but in a more real way, you're a message. What I'm really here for is…" He pressed a small red button on Rolo's remote control and the building burst into flame and light.

When Milly came to, Lelouch was already clinically undoing her shirt buttons, exposing her shoulder. "Hold still."

"You crazy… you could have died."

"No I couldn't have. Physics doesn't lie," Lelouch murmured. "Your office is the only one relatively spared, by the way. Now, hold still."

Milly screamed as Lelouch branded her.

"There, now you're a message." Lelouch smiled fondly. "Of course, I'll have to kill you as well, but you've always been kind of a mentor to me. Would you like to choose how?"

"Fuck you."

"Fine." Lelouch said, taking her gun and shooting. "Won't even answer one question when I answered three. How rude." He kicked out the window and moved like he had somewhere to be, past the rescue workers and the police and the media.

He checked the time as he pulled into traffic. If Rolo had effectively delayed Suzaku, he should beat him home.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Suzaku rushed through the door, grabbing his gun from the pocket of his jacket, still hanging in the hall.

"Lelouch!"

"Over here." Lelouch's voice rang from the bathroom. Where Suzaku had left him. Maybe, it was all a bluff…

Lelouch was sitting in the doorway. "Welcome back. You seem to have missed the point of grocery shopping."

"Get up." Suzaku ordered. "How did you get free?"

"Rolo." Lelouch answered. "Didn't he say?"

He had, and he'd been an incredibly fast runner, to the point that Suzaku realized he could get home faster running himself rather than chasing Rolo and driving. Fortunately, he still had his house keys.

"Get up." Suzaku ordered again. Lelouch smiled.

"I will, but you should really turn on the TV for a moment. I think you'll find it interesting."

Suzaku hesitated, then dashed for the TV, turning it on in the middle of an emergency news flash.

The FBI building was debris. Suzaku had turned his back for less than an hour, and the FBI building was gone.

Lelouch came up behind him. "I left Milly's body as a message." He was hard, pressing into Suzaku's thigh. "This ends it, Suzaku. It's over." He walked around to Suzaku's front. "Look at me, love."

Suzaku raised his eyes, wide with horror and guilt. When they met Lelouch's curious gaze, they hardened and narrowed. Lelouch visibly shuddered. "You are so sexy."

Suzaku grabbed Lelouch by his hair and dragged him to their bedroom, throwing him on the bed. Lelouch tore off his own shirt and wiggled out of his pants as Suzaku spread his legs, pushing into Lelouch without any preparation or care. Lelouch thrashed under him, crying out, but still clinging to Suzaku's back, bucking his hips and arching into Suzaku, trying to let him in. Suzaku grunted and thrust harshly, ignoring any discomfort and the sharp smell of blood. He came embarrassingly quickly, pulling out immediately and ignoring the pink stains under Lelouch's hips as he grabbed his gun.

A shots to each of Lelouch's kneecaps left them shattered and him screaming. Suzaku turned away, disgusted.

"If you're still alive in the morning, we'll talk."

Lelouch didn't even hear the door close. He'd passed out from the pain.


	4. Guide You Here

Lelouch didn't die. He came close, constantly feverish and in agonizing pain, but Suzaku kept his wounds relatively clean and kept him drinking water and cooled his persistent fever and after three days, actually thought he could get used to this life.

"You can't hurt anyone like this." Suzaku murmured, wiping down Lelouch's brow. "You're safe here. Well, safe for other people." He bent down and kissed Lelouch's forehead, tasting the cool water and clammy sweat and feeling how hot Lelouch still was. "I should change your bandages again."

Lelouch moaned, indicating that he heard what Suzaku was saying. Bandage changes were the most painful part.

Suzaku closed his ears to Lelouch's weak whimpers as he removed the old bandages and looked at his work. The knees themselves were a mess of blood and skin and tissue and bone, and always looked horrible. It was the skin above and below the knees, the skin that had looked fine two days before, and then red yesterday, and now swollen and practically purple that worried Suzaku. He didn't have anything to fight off infection except for a mild topical antibiotic. Clearly, it was not working.

"He's dying," Rolo said from the window. Suzaku reached for his gun, only to catch the keys Rolo tossed him instead. "He said this might happen."

"What did he say to do about it?" Suzaku demanded.

"He said to give you a choice." Rolo looked at him, distastefully. "Sacrifice him, or yourself. Let him die, or bring him to a hospital and lose everything."

"Everything?" Suzaku laughed harshly. "He already took that away."

Rolo shrugged. "It's up to you. He told me not to interfere."

Suzaku stared at him. "And you're just going to follow his orders, even if that means letting him die?"

"If you let him die, I will kill you," Rolo said matter-of-factly. "But this choice needs to be yours."

Suzaku looked at Lelouch. Apart from his red knees and legs, he looked gray.

"Get me a phone."

The ambulance took ten minutes, the ride to the hospital took fifteen, and the police were waiting once Suzaku arrived.

"Sir, we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"I'll be right there," Suzaku said politely. "I just need to talk to the doctors first."

He gave them a brief history, a time line really, and Lelouch's allergies. He didn't warn them that Lelouch was Zero. He wanted him to not die.

Once that was done, he followed the policeman to one of the psych rooms, which was nice because it had a table and several chairs, all welded to the floor.

Suzaku had never met the man waiting for him, but he'd seen his picture. "Sir."

Sir Bismark was a legend. The agent's agent. He'd even been Knighted, an honour not usually offered in the service of a foreign country, but when you protect the whole world against international horrors, nationality seemed petty.

What was he doing here? Suzaku felt a frisson of fear. Did he know about Lelouch?

Bismark stood. "Suzaku Kururugi. Before I start, is there anything you wanted to say?"

_Please don't let him die_. Suzaku hadn't even been aware how much he wanted Lelouch to live until now, until it looked like he might not.

He'd paused too long. Bismark drew himself up. "Then I'm arresting you on 47 counts of murder, 5 counts of treason, 3 counts of terrorism, and more pending. Unfortunately we haven't gotten a full body count from the building you had blown up." He paused dramatically. "_Zero_."

"…what?"

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Two days after Suzaku's arrest, he found out that Lelouch had died of his wound infections.

Four days later, he found out that there was a large body of evidence linking him to Zero's most recent crimes including DNA evidence, video, and things found in his home. The home he shared with Lelouch.

All the witnesses who could have alibied Suzaku were dead, killed by Zero in person or in the explosion that took out the FBI building.

At trial, he barely put up a defence. He never admitted his guilt, but after they added Lelouch Lamperouge to the list of Zero's victims, Suzaku tried to kill himself in his prison cell. Twice. The second time, he almost succeeded.

The trial itself took seven months, quick for a trial of this magnitude, helped by the fact that Suzaku never said a single thing in his defence, and delayed a little by his repeated suicide attempts.

The verdict was guilty. On all counts.

Within the first year, Suzaku had managed to nearly kill himself four times and nearly get himself killed three times. He was placed in solitary, with access to nothing sharper than paper cups.

It wasn't for lack of skill that Suzaku kept failing. It was a miserable combination of his usual infernal bad luck and his inhumanly strong constitution. Three times he should have, by all rights, died; but somehow he kept coming back.

The doctors who saved him would generally smile and call him lucky and ignore the silent tears streaming down his face.

Two years into his sentence, Suzaku got a visitor.

"These are for you."

Suzaku took the flowers, marveling at their colour even in the dim lighting of his cell.

"They won't let me give you the card. They say the paper is too hard. But you can read it."

Suzaku's eyes flickered up. In a child's handwriting, the message _To Suzaku, I believe in you. Love Nunnally _was scrawled.

"Why are you here?" Suzaku croaked out. He wasn't used to speaking.

"To give you those flowers," His visitor answered. "How have you been?"

"You said you'd kill me if I let him die."

Rolo sighed. "He talked me out of it. In any case, Nunnally sends her love and wishes she could be here, but everyone in the entire world ever forbade it. So I'm here on her behalf."

"You… you're with Nunnally?"

Rolo smiled. "Most of the time. She's taken quite a shine to me, which is incredibly flattering since I'm insanely jealous of her. Lelouch loves her, you know. More than he loves either of us." Rolo laughed. "Hell, more than he loves both of us put together. It makes me wonder where that love would go if Nunnally was… disappeared."

Suzaku had thought that he'd lost everything. He was disturbed to find that that was untrue.

"Don't hurt her." Suzaku felt, for the first time in months, genuinely trapped in his cell. "Please, don't hurt her."

Rolo laughed. "He'll be pleased that this worked. That you woke up." His smile gentled. "And Nunnally will be pleased that you liked the flowers." He gestured to the blooms, dropped when Suzaku had jumped forward to plead with him not to hurt Nunnally.

Suzaku gathered them up carefully.

"Do you have any messages you'd like me to relay?" Rolo asked.

"…no," Suzaku decided. "It's best if she… if everyone just forgets about me."

"Oh, Suzaku…" Rolo sounded almost affectionate despite the light sneer. "That's not the kind of man you are. Of all the words to describe you, no one would use 'forgettable'."

Suzaku turned away. "Get out."

Rolo hesitated then moved away. "You haven't really listened to me, Suzaku. And so you have no one to blame but yourself."

The silence in the cell after Rolo left was surprisingly loud.

When Suzaku started actively trying to kill himself again, including attempting to choke himself on his food, they sent for a doctor.

"Dr. Spacer, this is the one."

Suzaku looked up from where he was sitting on his bunk and, for a moment, his heart stopped.

"Suzaku Kururugi, a.k.a. Zero," A warm, dryly amused voice said. "Former FBI, former serial killer; current redundant attempted suicider. Tell me, Suzaku, is the drive to kill so strong that you must follow it, even when you're the only one left?"

Suzaku stood up shakily, moving to the front of his cell. "You…"

"I'm here to see if you're depressed or psychotic, or just suicidal. My name is Dr. Spacer, and I'm a psychiatrist, with a specialty in forensics."

Suzaku pressed as close as he could get, as if proximity would make what he was seeing make sense. "Lelouch…"

The two guards shifted uncomfortably and Lelouch frowned. "That name sounds familiar…" He leafed through Suzaku's chart. "Ah, yes. The lover you killed. I must say, mistaking me for him will make our professional relationship rather awkward."

"Lelouch how are you…" Suzaku closed his eyes. "Rolo said. Rolo hinted at it. The bastard was laughing at me."

"…and this Rolo. Is he here now? Can you sometimes hear him, even when he's not present?"

Suzaku started laughing, a dry wizened sound.

Lelouch moved forward, smiling gently. "I look forward to working with you, Suzaku. I hope, together, we can find a way to help you."

Suzaku couldn't stop laughing. It was impossible and horrible and just too funny.

Lelouch stepped back. "We're done here for today." He smiled at Suzaku. "I'll be back tomorrow, Suzaku. Please try to be more civil then."

Suzaku laughed until he started crying.

The next day, Suzaku was taken to a different room after his lunch, cuffed to a chair and left alone.

The room held another chair and a table and nothing else, and Suzaku was familiar enough with (interrogation) interview rooms to recognize one.

He waited. And waited.

By the time he'd started wondering is this was all a trick, the door opened and Lelouch walked in.

He looked pleasantly surprised. "On time. I must say, that's far more polite than I expected from you."

It wasn't as if Suzaku had been given a choice. "What do you want?" If this was Lelouch, he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of another break down. If it wasn't… well, that was silly. It was _obviously_ Lelouch.

"I want to help you." Lelouch said. "I think you don't particularly want my help, but you need it."

Suzaku shrugged. "That's probably a fair assessment. Except for that last bit."

Lelouch smiled and Suzaku remembered a time when that made his heart race. It wasn't completely unaffecting him now, to be honest. "To clear the air, in the interest of honesty, nothing that happens in here is private. We're being watched the whole time and there are guards outside waiting for any excuse to barge in. Still, I'd appreciate it if you could be honest."

"They said you died."

"No one said any such thing." Lelouch looked disappointed. "They told you that your lover died. I'm Alan Spacer, MD, PhD, all around nice guy. Lelouch Lamperouge has been dead for almost three years."

Suzaku closed his eyes tightly. Even with the evidence of his eyes in front of him, hearing that hurt. Maybe he _had_ gone insane, seeing Lelouch in this man.

He opened his eyes and, no, that was undeniably Lelouch.

"How can you be here?"

Lelouch checked his watch. "Hold that thought…"

Suzaku had his mouth open to ask another question when the lights went out.

And then he had another tongue in his mouth and hands buried in his hair, and a familiar weight in his lap.

"Suzaku, oh, I've missed you…" Lelouch kissed him again, harder and palmed the front of Suzaku's pants before slipping his hand inside. "I've missed you too," He promised, wrapping his fingers around Suzaku's already hard cock and jerking him off.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku bucked into Lelouch's hand, hating that he was chained down, unable to touch back. "I knew it. I… ah!"

It had been almost three years since Suzaku had had an orgasm outside of wet dreams. He hadn't even touched himself since Lelouch's death.

"I wish I could see your face. You're always so beautiful when you come." Lelouch whispered, kissing Suzaku deeply. "Now, we don't have much time before the power comes back and those guards burst in. Suzaku, love, have you learned your lesson? Are you ready to come home to me?"

Suzaku was still buzzing from his orgasm when he answered. "I miss you so much."

"Good answer." Lelouch said, and kissed him again, sliding a hand down the back of his pants.

The soft distant whirring of a generator starting up was the only warning before Lelouch pulled away and the lights flickered back on.

Suzaku was still flushed, his lips red and wet. Lelouch looked completely composed, and it was easy to overlook his red lips as the guards stormed the room, checking to make sure he was safe and Suzaku was restrained. It was a little ironic.

"That's disgusting." One of the guards said, wrinkling his nose at Suzaku's appearance, his blown pupils and the mess that was staining the front of his pants.

"Yes, well." Lelouch shrugged. "We're done here. I'll see you, Suzaku." Carefully not giving a time.

Back at his cell, Suzaku curled into a ball on his cot, under the sheets, and fished out the items that Lelouch had shoved into his underwear.

A passkey, a map, and a note.

He looked at the note first.

_2000h, shift change. Uniform at point A, exit at point B. I love you._

Suzaku ignored the last three words and closed his eyes. If he was breaking out of a maximum security facility in less than four hours, he wanted to be rested.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Suzaku woke when the power went out. Again. He had no way of checking, but he assumed it was about 2000h and got out of bed.

The passkey opened his cell, and Suzaku found the uniform easily, complete with a nightstick and flashlight. No gun.

Still, it was better than what he'd been wearing, and Suzaku already felt more free. He flicked on the flashlight and made his way to the exit that Lelouch had marked for him.

"Hey!"

…_shit_. Suzaku turned around slowly, eying the guard coming towards him and wondering if he could take him in his weakened state.

"Did you check out that block already?"

"Um… yeah." _Why not_. "Nothing to report."

The guard nodded. "It's chaos here. They're sending guys out randomly. This is the _second_ job I was sent to do that was already done."

Suzaku laughed. He couldn't help it, big institutions were all the same. "I guess they think that as long as they're reacting, they're doing something."

"I hear that." The guard shrugged. "I'm heading back. You coming?"

Suzaku cocked his head towards the path Lelouch's map showed. "I'm moving that way next."

"Good luck. Have you heard any reasons for this yet?"

"…government spending choices?"

The guard laughed and shook his head, turning away. Suzaku breathed easier once he was out of sight and kept moving for the exit.

He made it through without any further problems and walked outside and breathed fresh air for the first time in two years. It smelled horrible, but he _was _in a parking lot, surrounded by cars leaving for home as the generators whirled back up, once again lighting their way out.

Home. Not exactly an idea that applied to Suzaku right now. He'd followed Lelouch's plan, but now that he was out, he wasn't sure what he wanted. Lelouch had asked him to come to him, but…

Lelouch was a murderer. A serial killer and a mass murderer now. And now that Suzaku was free, he could choose not to return to him. He could do whatever he wanted…

…until he was caught. A large part of Suzaku just wanted to find the tallest building that would let him to the top floor and jump off. At least then it would be over.

"You do realize that that's not a real guard's uniform? It's a stripper's costume."

Suzaku turned his head towards that voice. "Rolo."

Rolo handed Suzaku some clothes. "I think Lelouch liked the idea of you showing up in that, but it's too conspicuous. You should change into these."

The clothes were nice. Nicer than anything Suzaku had worn before being arrested.

"Where…?" Rolo raised an eyebrow and Suzaku bit back the rest of that question. Here, obviously.

Still, he took some cover behind the parking lot attendant's booth as he changed. Rolo watched him, looking completely uninterested.

"I have a message from Lelouch," He said, a little too quickly to be casual. "If you don't want it, just say so."

…an odd way to phrase it. "I want it," Suzaku said, pulling up his pants. "Whatever it is, there's nothing he can do or say that will-hmph…"

Rolo kissed like Lelouch. Which made sense if what he'd said was true, that he'd learned everything from Lelouch. Still, he wasn't Lelouch, and even if this was Lelouch's message it was inappropriate, and Rolo was making soft kittenish noises as Suzaku pressed him against the wall of the booth.

"More… ah, Suzaku…" Rolo begged when Suzaku let up enough for him to form words. "Please…" His breath hitched as Suzaku kissed him again, harder.

Through the haze of pleasure, Suzaku finally heard the part of him that was screaming at him to stop, what did he think he was doing? He practically leapt backwards, nearly tripping on the uneven surface under him.

"Message delivered." Rolo said, looking more composed than Suzaku but just as disgusted. "Here." He tossed Suzaku a rolled up sheet of paper.

Another map. Suzaku put aside his feelings of 'ew…' and looked at Rolo. "What's this for?"

"It'll lead you to him." Rolo said, walking off and leaving Suzaku to scramble to put on his shoes and tie and jacket.

The map was straightforward, and the destination wasn't that far, but it took Suzaku the better part of an hour to get there. Mostly because he wasn't sure that 'there' was where he wanted to be.

He was walking the streets in the fanciest clothes he'd ever worn, deciding between returning to his mass-murdering lover who he hadn't seen in years and kind of hated, and suicide.

The second option had the new bonus of messing up the fancy clothes. Lelouch hated ingratitude.

In the end, Suzaku walked into the fancy hotel that was marked as his destination because he reasoned that option two would still be on the table. It had nothing to do with how his body was still tingling from Rolo's kiss and the memory of Lelouch from earlier.

The concierge took one look at him and smiled. "Senior Torres asked that you be let up to his room immediately, sir." He handed Suzaku a keycard. "This will activate the third elevator on your right."

Suzaku took the card. "Thank you."

"My pleasure, sir." The concierge bowed.

Most people were taking the first two elevators. Suzaku swiped the keycard to activate the third.

There were no floor buttons. And it was moving faster than the average elevator. And Suzaku remembered that Lelouch could be creatively cruel. Suzaku wouldn't put it past him to lay this complicated trap as a way of getting Suzaku out of the picture in a terrifying and destructive way. It seemed wasteful, but Lelouch's unique sense of style often overrode his frugality.

Ah well, it was too late now.

When the doors opened, Suzaku wasn't sure what to expect. The well-appointed, softly lit room with huge windows overlooking the city wasn't it, though.

A soft noise from the side caught his attention, and he saw something he _had_ expected. Lelouch, looking casually sensual, smiling softly.

"Welcome home, Suzaku."


	5. Make You See

It was difficult to take the first step over the threshold of the elevator. Once that was out of the way, though, Suzaku found himself moving quickly and easily until Lelouch was wrapped in his arms, kissing him with complete abandon and fitting against him as perfectly as ever.

"I missed you so much." Lelouch gasped as Suzaku bent his head to suck on Lelouch's throat. "I wanted… oh, Suzaku, harder…"

Suzaku was rutting mindlessly against him, filling his senses with Lelouch, Lelouch, _Lelouch_…

Lelouch let out a soft gasp and tensed in Suzaku's arms moments before Suzaku groaned and came, ruining his nice pants.

Worth it.

They slid to the floor, still holding each other as the endorphins kicked in.

"I love you so much," Lelouch whispered, kissing Suzaku's forehead.

Suzaku kept his eyes closed and tried to drown himself in the post-orgasm bliss, trying to avoid dealing with Lelouch in any way other than sex. Lelouch cuddled closer and Suzaku knew that he couldn't avoid it any longer.

"Are you still killing?"

"No," Lelouch said. "I told you, it stopped with Milly."

"Why?"

"Because she was the last one. After she was gone, all you had left was me."

Suzaku looked at him, horrified. "You…"

"Shh…" Lelouch pressed his fingers to Suzaku's lips. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault, Suzaku." He replaced his fingers with his lips. "I love you."

Suzaku's mind reeled as his body moved on automatic, shedding his jacket and tie and moaning as Lelouch pressed kisses over his clavicle.

"You've lost weight," Lelouch scolded. "Most of it muscle, but some… they said you'd tried to starve yourself, but…" He kissed Suzaku's mouth. "We'll fix you, don't worry."

Suzaku shuddered, suddenly revolted to be on the receiving end of such gentle care from such a horrible person. "Get off."

Lelouch looked up curiously. "Suzaku?"

Suzaku shoved him off and crawled back, out of reach. "Don't touch me. You fucking… don't touch me." He covered his face with his shaking hands.

There was a sigh and the sound of Lelouch standing. "What do you want from me, Suzaku?" His voice was no longer the soft, gentle loving voice he'd used up until this point. It was hard and exasperated and the exact same voice he used when Suzaku left muddy footprints on the floor.

Somehow, Suzaku managed to keep from laughing. "If I said I wanted you to confess?"

"I'm dead," Lelouch reminded him. "It wouldn't go over particularly well."

Right. That was another good point. "If you died, how can you…"

Lelouch smiled. "Is answers what you want Suzaku? I'll tell you anything you want, on one condition."

"…what?"

"Fuck me. It doesn't have to be like the way it was, just… stick your cock in me and come and make me come. Do that and I'll answer anything you ask."

Suzaku searched for the trap. "Anything?"

"Anything and everything. As many questions as you have, whenever you think of them. Unlimited number and time. For one round of sex."

Suzaku stood and looked around, spotting the bedroom quickly. Lelouch smiled and touched his shoulder, making him jump.

"It's just sex, love. Just one last romp before I hand you all the control. After that, you can do as you please." Lelouch leaned in, his breath ghosting against Suzaku's ear. "And you want it too."

The problem was… the problem was, Suzaku did want it. So he wasn't sure that when he turned his head and kissed Lelouch and let him lead them to the bedroom and tore off his clothes to get at the smooth skin underneath, if he was motivated by the desire to know or just plain old desire.

Lelouch didn't have that problem as he ripped Suzaku's shirt off his body and slid his pants down before Suzaku pushed him down to the bed. His own desire was pure and visceral and just because he was also motivated by the desire to tie Suzaku to him, to play with his mind until Suzaku became his, completely and willingly, didn't mean that he wanted this with anything less than his whole being.

"I'm ready," He whispered into the air as Suzaku kicked off his pants. "I'm wet and stretched and ready for you, Suzaku."

He felt a warm thrill rush through him as Suzaku stopped and stared at him, eyes dark with lust and wide with amazement.

"You look so good like that," Lelouch said, holding a hand out and smiling. "Come on then, Suzaku."

The thrill intensified as Suzaku took his hand and slid between his legs. "Lelouch…"

Lelouch managed not to laugh victoriously. "Fuck me, Suzaku."

Lelouch had been exaggerating. He _was_ wet, and had likely stretched himself, but he was still incredibly tight as Suzaku pushed in. Still, he never complained, his eyes locked on Suzaku's, egging him on. Suzaku was suddenly, intensely, grateful that they'd come just a few minutes before, as that was the only thing staving off his orgasm as Lelouch clenched impossibly tighter around him.

"Gah, ugh… you have to relax, Lelouch." He hadn't said those words since their first time.

Lelouch shook his head. "Just push through, Suzaku. A little blood isn't the end of the world." He grinned. "And I know how much you love it when I'm tight."

_Not this tight_ Suzaku had been planning to say when the resistance suddenly gave way and he slid nearly completely into Lelouch. They both shouted at the sudden change and Lelouch arched under him, finally closing those amazing eyes in pleasure.

"_Suzaku_…" Lelouch's hands were gripping the bedsheets so tightly his knuckles were turning white, but his voice was saturated with pleasure. He was tight again, clamped around Suzaku with a nearly steady pressure that throbbed only slightly with his pulse.

…or was that Suzaku's pulse, thrumming through his cock? Either way, it was enough to make Suzaku push through as ordered, wringing a cry out of Lelouch as he forced his way into him until he was buried in him, as deeply as he could get.

"Lelouch…" In another life, Suzaku would have asked him if he was okay. In this life he braced himself. "I'm moving now."

He nearly missed Lelouch's small nod as he pulled back and thrust in, just as forcefully, against just as much resistance. This time, Lelouch arched and twisted, one arm shooting up and pulling Suzaku down for a kiss. "Just like that, Suzaku."

Suzaku kissed back, driving into Lelouch with short strong thrusts that made him gasp and keen every time. It was just sex, meaningless really, so it was okay that Suzaku threaded his fingers through Lelouch's the way he used to. It was okay that when Lelouch had to turn his head to breathe, Suzaku placed gentle kisses against his throat and slowed to let him catch his breath. It was okay that Suzaku's free hand slid between their writhing bodies to grip and pull on Lelouch's cock. And it was okay that Suzaku's cheeks were wet with more than sweat because this was just sex, that was all, and it didn't mean anything that his chest was burning with more than exertion and when Lelouch turned back to him so that their eyes met he couldn't stop smiling and that Lelouch's return smile made everything so much better…

None of it meant anything. Especially not that moment where Lelouch threw his head back and cried out Suzaku's name and _clenched_ around him and practically pulled Suzaku's orgasm from him, holding onto him tightly as his body spasmed then stilled.

Suzaku was almost able to convince himself as he collapsed on top of Lelouch, breathing hard and trembling with the aftermath of his orgasm, that the act, while enjoyable, hadn't touched him.

Right up to the point when Lelouch turned to him and smiled gently and touched his face. And then Suzaku closed his eyes and admitted that it changed everything as he cried silently in Lelouch's arms.

Lelouch was careful as he held Suzaku. This was a delicate moment; a turning point, if one of potentially many. It was vital that Suzaku feel safe and loved and cherished.

And it was a happy coincidence that Lelouch was very comfortable loving and cherishing him.

He'd worked long and hard for this, and now that it was within his grasp, he'd do anything to keep it. To keep Suzaku. When Suzaku's sobs started to abate and he pulled back gently, Lelouch let him go, keeping his hands on him, lightly touching him, but no longer holding him.

"Would you still like those answers?" He asked before Suzaku could bring it up.

Suzaku nodded, unable to meet Lelouch's eyes with his own, bloodshot and puffy ones.

Lelouch just smiled and slid out of bed, holding out a hand. "Then you shall have them, my love," He promised. "But first let's draw you a bath. You taste like captivity, and we're both rather sweaty and sticky."

Suzaku hesitated, long enough that Lelouch would have felt offended if he hadn't done what he'd done, but he did take Lelouch's hand.

Pivotal moment cleared.

Suzaku was impressed with the bathtub, deep and wide and quick to fill. It made him wonder how much else he'd missed while following Lelouch mindlessly through his hotel room.

"It's ready," Lelouch said softly, guiding Suzaku into the warm water before following him in, curling against him, between his legs. "Ask away, Suzaku."

"Did you really die?"

Lelouch shivered. "Kiss me."

Suzaku considered for a moment before he tightened his hold on Lelouch and pressed his lips to Lelouch's back. Lelouch sighed and relaxed.

"I died," He said quietly. "I knew I would the moment you shot me, and I was willing to accept that from you." He turned and kissed Suzaku's hair. "You're the only one allowed to kill me, Suzaku."

"But how…" Suzaku looked up. "Are you really here? Am I mad?"

Lelouch laughed. "You're no more insane that usual, love. I'm here. I came back. I'll always come back." He smiled as if sharing a secret. "Well, until I don't."

"I don't understand."

Lelouch smiled. "Let me tell you about this strange green-haired girl I met when I was seventeen and about the power of kings, and the _code_ that makes it possible."

Suzaku listened to Lelouch's unbelievable story. "So she gave you the power to control people and you killed her in return?"

"It was only fair," Lelouch said. "I'd gotten what I wanted. But that was after you were imprisoned. Before that, I was Zero."

Suzaku shuddered. "You killed your own brother… General Katase… you started a war…"

"I needed Schneizel distracted while I went after my mother's murderer," Lelouch said as if that justified millions of deaths. "And it worked."

Suzaku shook his head, but asked what he knew Lelouch wanted him to. "Who killed her?"

"My uncle."

Suzaku frowned. "You don't have an uncle."

"Long story." Lelouch shrugged. "He's my father's ten year old older brother. Immortal. Or at least he was until I killed him."

"Apart from that making no sense, it's a contradiction," Suzaku pointed out. Lelouch nodded.

"The _geass_, the power I told you about, entitles one to kill an immortal _code_ carrier. Usually the same one who gave the _geass_, but… in my case, I needed to kill my uncle. I reasoned that that would cancel out my _geass_ and I'd become a _code_ holder like C.C. I was mistaken."

Suzaku nodded but said nothing.

"For a while, after I came back from my 'sabbatical' in California I carried both a _geass_ and a _code_. An immortal with the power of kings. A god."

Suzaku couldn't even begin to address such ego. "You mean you don't have it now?"

"No," Lelouch explained. "Once I got you out, I didn't need the _geass_ anymore and it was becoming unstable. So I took C.C.'s _code_ from her while you were breaking out of your cell. A pity, I think she would have liked you. Or found you amusing." Lelouch shrugged. "You wouldn't have liked her."

"Well no," Suzaku said. "She turned you into a killer."

"She gave me the tools," Lelouch corrected gently. "I was always thus, Suzaku. I will always be a murderer, even when I'm not killing, and the only one who can control me, who can stop me… is you."

"I don't…"

Lelouch turned in the bath, pressing against Suzaku. "Be a hero, Suzaku. Save the world from my evil. Love me, enough so that, even if I can never be a good person, I can act like one." He kissed Suzaku, pulling away and smiling. "Love me, Suzaku. It's the greatest sacrifice you could ever make."

Suzaku trembled in the rapidly cooling water as Lelouch peppered gentle kisses over his face.

"Say you will, Suzaku. Say you'll take me and mold me into a better man. Form me, sculpt me, into what you want…" Lelouch's body was moving more intentionally now, and Suzaku was getting hard. "Stay with me, fall in love with me again." Lelouch moaned and his eyelashes fluttered. "Save me, Suzaku."

And Suzaku flipped him over, spilling water everywhere as he held him down and fucked him, kissing him like he wanted to suck out his breath. Lelouch gasped under him and they came together, clinging to each other.

Then Suzaku pulled back, still trembling in the aftermath and pushed Lelouch down, holding him below the water's surface.

Lelouch only struggled once, near the end, before stilling under Suzaku's hands, not breathing.

Suzaku got out of the bath, dried himself off, and waited.

He didn't have long to wait. Lelouch revived without much dignity, gasping and sputtering as he surfaced.

"I believe you now."

Lelouch shot him a cold glare and Suzaku could see how he'd turned into a monster. Then Lelouch sighed and ran his hands through his hair, and all that was left was a slightly exasperated man.

"Pass me another towel?"

Suzaku did and Lelouch rubbed his hair before tying it around his waist. "I don't know about you, Suzaku, but after all that, I'm famished." He grinned breezily and kissed Suzaku on his way out the door.

For lack of any better options, Suzaku followed him.

It turned out to be a mistake. Suzaku had always found Lelouch's domesticity appealing, but the way he was in the kitchen was like porn. And he was dressed only in a towel, and if Suzaku kept up this pace, he'd make up for nearly three years of abstinence by the end of the night.

Lelouch caught him staring and smiled, holding out the handle of a kitchen blade. "Would you mind slicing the vegetables?"

To no one's surprise, Suzaku ended up fucking Lelouch against the dishwasher.

"Ah, hah, Suzaku… the noodles are overboiling…"

And Suzaku was reminded why he'd stopped doing this. "Let them." Lelouch could be so anal…

"But they…" Lelouch cut himself off with a sharp gasp when Suzaku responded with a particularly sharp thrust, hands scrambling across the smooth counter in an effort to get some kind of grip. "God, more, Suzaku, please…"

He might have been begging to hurry them up so he could save the noodles, but Suzaku didn't really care, gripping Lelouch's hips tightly and slamming into him hard and fast, one hand snaking around to jerk Lelouch off in time to his thrusts.

Lelouch came first, arching his back and moaning Suzaku's name. A few more thrusts and Suzaku followed him, muffling his own moan into Lelouch's shoulder.

And then, continuing this day of surprises, Lelouch recovered first, bending down to grab his discarded towel and cleaning himself and Suzaku off.

"It's the _code_," He explained to Suzaku's incredulous look. "Faster recovery. One of the better side effects." He kissed Suzaku and moved to rescue the noodles, still nude.

Suzaku sighed and picked up his towel as well, turning to return them to the bathroom.

And ending up face-to-face with Rolo.

"Wha! When… how long have you been there?"

"Long enough," Rolo answered, eyes narrowed. Suzaku shifted so the towels were covering him.

Lelouch smiled over at them. "Welcome back, Rolo."

"I did what you said, _nii-san_." Rolo stepped past Suzaku into the kitchen. "Do you need any help?"

"Vegetables still need slicing." Lelouch answered, cupping the back of Rolo's head and pulling him in to a deep kiss. "Suzaku, you're demoted to table duty now."

Lelouch turned back to his cooking as if nothing remarkable was happening. Suzaku stared at Rolo who, faintly flushed and stealing glances at Lelouch's naked body, obediently started cutting bell peppers. Apart from Lelouch's nudity and the tent in Rolo's pants, they looked like a family preparing dinner.

It was disturbing, almost as disturbing as watching that kiss, although Suzaku really should have expected it. The jealous rush of emotion was silly, really, considering how many other ways Lelouch had betrayed him.

Still, as Suzaku tossed the towels on the bathroom floor and returned to the kitchen to grab plates for the table, the sound of Lelouch laughing at something Rolo had said burned through him.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Supper was fairly civil. It probably helped that Lelouch threw on a robe and Suzaku got fully dressed in Lelouch's clothes.

They fit better than they had when they'd lived together. Maybe Lelouch had a point about his weight loss.

As they cleaned up, though, Rolo managed to get him alone, without Lelouch around.

"Enjoy him for now," Rolo hissed. "Sooner or later you'll screw up and he'll leave you."

Suzaku snorted. "I drowned him earlier today. If that's not going to do it, what will?"

Rolo shook his head. "He knew you'd do that. It's when you surprise him, when you betray him and he's not expecting it… that's when you'll lose him. And I'll be there to make sure you never hurt him again."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"That when I kill you, Lelouch will be mine." Rolo smiled, and it was an echo of Lelouch's cruelest smile. "And I can't wait."

"Don't worry." Lelouch whispered as they curled up together in bed. "Rolo's harmless."

Suzaku hadn't been overly worried, but now that Lelouch mentioned it… "You were listening?"

"Always." Lelouch pressed his lips to the back of Suzaku's neck. "I will always protect you."

Something was still bothering Suzaku. "You sent him to Nunnally…"

"She needs protection too," Lelouch said. "I can't be with her anymore and you're wanted for murder, so that left Rolo."

"He said he'd… _disappear _her. He's jealous of her."

Lelouch laughed lightly. "Suzaku, he's met Nunnally. Do you know anyone who's met Nunnally who doesn't adore her? He was just saying that to get a reaction out of you."

"But he…"

"Hush." Lelouch snuggled closer, sighing happily. "I have you here now. Rolo can return to Nunnally's side. Everything will be fine."

Suzaku didn't believe that for a second, but he was warm and full and sleeping naked on silk sheets with Lelouch holding him. It wasn't perfect, although at one time it might have been, but it was enough to let him sleep.


	6. Bind Our Souls

He was less easygoing when he woke up that morning.

"Tell me everything about Zero."

Lelouch was making omelets in an apron, but Suzaku wasn't about to let that distract him. Apparently last night had been enough because sex was the last thing on his mind.

He was still a little peeved at Rolo, sitting comfortably at the table, eating Lelouch's cooking.

"Where would you like me to start?" Lelouch asked, adding salt.

"I understand… I can't accept it, or agree with it, but I understand why you went to such lengths to find your mother's killer. I don't endorse your methods, but I can see why you felt you needed to go to that extreme. But killing those agents… you didn't have to do that."

Lelouch shrugged. "No, I didn't. And to be honest, if you hadn't been assigned to the Zero case, I might not have. But watching you fade away from me, while chasing me; being jealous of myself… it made me take more drastic measures than I might have otherwise."

"Like _talking _to me?"

"You never listened," Lelouch said calmly. "You didn't even know that I was teaching at the University. I was a fixture in your life; I served a purpose, but little more. All of our conversations revolved around Zero; which was occasionally hilarious, by the way; and as time went on there were even fewer and fewer of those. You couldn't tell me things, and I respected that, but that didn't mean that you had to shut down."

Suzaku would have felt guilty about that but… "So you started _killing_ people?"

"At first, it was mostly to take Zero away from you. I knew that Milly would assign Gino as point if it hit home. I thought that if you didn't have him…_ me_ distracting you, I'd be able to make more of a place for myself in your life as _Lelouch_. And maybe I would have." Lelouch sighed. "But that wasn't enough. I hadn't expected the thrill, the amazing connection we made when I comforted you about Anya. You looked at me and let me take care of you and the sex… do you realize that the best sex we ever had was probably that week, as you tried to forget the horrible things that happened?"

Suzaku thought he might be sick.

"So I killed Rivalz next. He was probably the easiest kill; even Nina figured something was wrong before she died. Rivalz never did." Lelouch turned off the burner and slipped the omelet onto a plate. "Nina was quick, but complicated. I had to prepare the pancake batter, go kill her, and be sure to be back before you woke up. It was close; the sound of you calling my name probably blocked the sound of the door closing. Still, those were good pancakes. I should really generally let the batter sit longer."

Rolo poured a glass of juice for Lelouch as he sat down.

"Kallen was the most logistically complicated. Especially because you were being overprotective at that point. I had to take a _bus_ to the airport." He sounded like that was an affront to his dignity. Suzaku very much did not care. "After that, though, it was simple enough to _geass_ security into leading her into a private room. She was surprised to see me, but drugging her made her surprisingly pliant. I don't think Gino was nearly as whipped as we thought. Still, she was the only one I drugged who didn't want me to 'relieve' them. Props for that, impressive willpower. She did undo her shirt. Impaired judgment; I suppose it seemed a reasonable reaction to feeling hot, but she never wanted me to touch her, and I didn't. Except for, you know, killing her."

"And then, Gino." Lelouch bit his bottom lip in consideration. "We'll get to him once Rolo leaves."

"What…"

"Patience, Suzaku." Lelouch smiled and took a bite of food. "Good things come to those who wait." He sat down and started eating and Suzaku knew he wouldn't get anything more out of him until he was ready. He sat down and poured himself a glass of juice, his stomach far too busy churning to even consider something heavier like an omelet.

After breakfast, Lelouch sent Rolo off with a kiss and a smile before turning back to Suzaku. "So. Gino."

"Gino," Suzaku said, startled when Lelouch passed him some paper. "What's this…"

"Your lines." Lelouch smiled. "I assume you'd want to be Gino rather than me. He gets off at the end."

Suzaku looked at the first sheet. "This is…"

"I start," Lelouch said. "Ahem. Can I come in?"

"This is sick."

"That isn't the line."

"I'm not doing this."

Lelouch sighed. "I'm trying to help you understand, Suzaku. It's role playing; you do it all the time, you probably did it with Zero. Just… never with the real Zero."

Suzaku swallowed and looked down at the sheet again. "I… I really wasn't expecting your call."

"Did Suzaku suspect anything?" Lelouch asked flirtatiously. Suzaku swallowed again, damping down his nausea. He was really grateful he hadn't eaten much of anything yet today.

"He thinks I'm following a lead on Zero. We… we don't have much time…"

Lelouch smiled and kissed Suzaku softly, licking gently into his mouth. "This is so much better with you," He whispered before grabbing Suzaku by the front of his shirt. "Then you'd better strip fast, pretty boy."

Suzaku wasn't sure how this had happened, but he was stumbling over his pants as he and Lelouch fell to the bed, hard and panting as if he hadn't been thoroughly disgusted a moment ago. "Lelouch…"

"It's your line," Lelouch reminded him, playfully scooting out of his reach. "I made Gino work for it."

Suzaku hesitated, then grabbed the sheet. "Do you do this often?"

"Fuck agents when they should be at work, or cheat on Suzaku?"

"Either," Suzaku replied, interested in Lelouch's answer.

"Yes to the first. Never to the second." Lelouch smiled. "Now, are you going to kiss me or not?"

Suzaku didn't have to check the script to know how Gino had reacted. He bent down and pressed into Lelouch's mouth.

Only to pull back moments later, choking. "What was that?"

Lelouch lay back. "Do you remember when I was drugged with _Easy_? I thought V.V.'s _code_ would make me immune to poisons, but it just delayed the effects. But as far as Gino was concerned, he was feeling the same way you are now and I was spread out, ready for him…"

Suzaku pushed Lelouch down, kissing him and rutting against him, burning inside with a desire that wasn't entirely his and out of his control and a little scary and incredibly thrilling. "Lelouch… fuck…"

"You won't last long enough," Lelouch promised against his lips, flipping them over and wrapping his hand around Suzaku's cock. "A few sharp strokes and it'll be over. Do you want it, Gino?"

Suzaku didn't even notice the name change. "Yes! God, yes, Lelouch please…"

Lelouch kissed him hard, almost bruising, and jerked him off hard and fast. Suzaku came with a helpless cry, thrusting to the sky as he coated Lelouch's hand and his own stomach and thighs.

"So beautiful," Lelouch whispered, biting at Suzaku's shoulder, where they'd found Zero's mark on Gino.

Suzaku could feel his sense returning, as clearheaded as could be expected after sex. "And… it just wears off…"

"Mmm," Lelouch agreed, still tasting Suzaku's skin. "He was still post-orgasmic when I killed him, but his last moment… he looked at me like he wasn't surprised, like he should have known better. A touch of rueful regret. He was a good agent."

Suzaku shivered and lay passively under Lelouch as Lelouch's kisses became more insistent. "The drug hit me as I was driving home, and by the time I got there, I was wild. When I called you… I shouldn't have, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought that just hearing you would make it better, make it okay. But it didn't. I needed you here, with me, holding me… Suzaku…"

Suzaku didn't even need to look to know that Lelouch was hard. But whether he wanted to do anything about it…

Lelouch whined into Suzaku's shoulder and wrapped the same hand that was sticky with Suzaku's semen around his cock, jerking off desperately. It wasn't enough.

Suzaku sighed and rolled them over and kissed Lelouch tenderly. "What does it say about me that I can't watch you in pain?"

"You're a good person, Suzaku." Lelouch gasped. "I'm sorry I fell in love with you. I'm sorry you're in love with me."

"I'm not…"

"You are," Lelouch assured him. "But that doesn't make you less of a good person."

Suzaku kissed him again and wrapped his hand around Lelouch's cock. It was better than listening to him talk.

There was a blessed moment of silence after Lelouch's orgasm. Suzaku closed his eyes and tried, desperately, to hold onto it. It didn't last long.

"Shirley was me losing my temper," Lelouch said once he'd recovered. A large part of Suzaku didn't want to hear this, but he knew he had to. "When I confronted her in her office, she really thought I wanted her. Like I'd ever wanted anyone but you." Lelouch clenched his fists. "She let me kiss her, let me undress her, even took off most of her clothes herself. She spread her legs and leaned against the desk and I… _Easy _is supposed to make you aroused and compliant, but the way she smiled at me, like she was genuinely happy…" Lelouch shook his head. "I made her come, twice, before pushing her to the floor. She kept calling out my name and I just wanted her to shut up. Even when I hurt her, even when I knew she was bleeding, she called out my name… Who does that? Who trusts someone that much, who thinks that having that done to them is okay as long as the person doing it is who they want?"

Suzaku brushed Lelouch's hair with his fingers. "You did. With me. At least twice."

"That's different," Lelouch snapped. "She shouldn't have… why didn't she fight back? The drug had worn off by then, why didn't she at least fight back…"

"Are you sorry?" Suzaku asked gently. "About what you did to her?"

"I don't know," Lelouch said, and for the first time, Suzaku saw Lelouch's confidence crack. "I think I regret it, but I'm not sure what I regret. I know that I was relieved when she died. It… fixed things." Lelouch curled up, closer to Suzaku's body even as he refused to look Suzaku in the eye. "I know I don't think properly. Humans aren't people to me, except for you and Nunnally, and even then, I can't help but try to make you do what I want."

Suzaku kissed his forehead. "What do you want from me, Lelouch?"

"Fix me," Lelouch whispered. "Or at least erase me."

"…what?"

"Suzaku." Lelouch reached up and touched Suzaku's face. "Will you accept this contract from me? The power of kings, in return for being the one to remove me from the world. Will you take my _geass_ and then my _code_?"

"Kill you?" Suzaku asked, horrified as if hadn't already technically done so twice.

Lelouch kissed him. "I'll still be with you, passed alone with the _code_. But you'll be able to keep me from hurting anyone, safe within you. And I'll always be a part of you, something that you can't ignore or push away. Will you do this for me, Suzaku?"

Suzaku shook his head, pulling away from Lelouch's hold. "I… I'm not… I have to think about this…"

"Alright." Lelouch accepted. "Let me know when you've come to a decision."

They dressed and spent the rest of the day avoiding each other, until Rolo came home.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Rolo and Lelouch held a soft conversation while Suzaku started at the city from the huge window. He was high enough that he figured this was probably the penthouse suite. How could Lelouch, technically dead, afford all this? How could he do anything? How could he expect Suzaku to kill him, when he'd just decided that he was going to stay with him?

Suzaku wasn't entirely sure when exactly he'd decided that, but he had. And now Lelouch was asking him to take a power that held no interest for him, with the ultimate goal of taking Lelouch's life, something that held a great deal of interest for Suzaku now.

Was this love? Or something more selfish. Was there anything more selfish than love? Where had Lelouch and Rolo gone, and what were those noises coming from Rolo's room…

That last question roused him from his contemplatine state, and he crept towards the room, easily recognizing the soft wet sounds of kissing and the soft moans of more than kissing.

He edged the door open and was greeted to the sight of Lelouch, fully clothed, pressing a naked Rolo to the bed, kissing him as his hand played between his open legs.

"How do you want it, Rolo?" Lelouch asked. "This is your last time, so choose."

"Your mouth. Please," Rolo gasped out breathlessly. "I want to… I want to come inside."

"As you wish." Lelouch breathed against Rolo's lips, kissing him again, then moving slowly down his body. "Gentle at first, remember."

"Yes, _nii-san_." Rolo gasped as Lelouch took his tip delicately into his mouth. "O-oh…" His eyes fluttered shut and his mouth gaped like a fish's.

Lelouch's eyes met Suzaku's and he smiled around Rolo's cock, holding out a hand. It was oddly reminiscent of that time with Gino…

Suzaku took Lelouch's hand. He was becoming resigned to the fact that he always would.

Rolo gasped and bucked when his eyes opened. "What are you… what is he…"

"Shh…" Lelouch pulled off Rolo and stroked his thighs soothingly. "It's your last day with us, and it should be special, Rolo. I've taught you so much, and you've learned so well. This is my final gift, my final lesson, so that you know that you can experience this with other people as well." He smiled and undid Suzaku's pants. "Take him in your mouth, Rolo. Experience someone other than me."

"I don't want…" Rolo scowled at Suzaku who just stared back, eyes wide with surprise. He didn't even have the presence of mind to redo his pants.

Lelouch stood and kissed Suzaku's neck, stroking him steadily. "Rolo, suck him. You're so good, and you love it so much… don't be scared."

"I'm not scared!" Rolo insisted, dropping his gaze to Suzaku's crotch. Suzaku flushed and _finally_ moved to cover himself up, but Lelouch had nudged him forward, presenting his cock to Rolo's mouth.

"Go on," Lelouch whispered. "Let me see you."

Still scowling, Rolo took Suzaku's cock in his mouth, giving it a good suck and swirling his tongue around the tip. Suzaku moaned.

Lelouch kissed the back of Suzaku's neck. "Thank you." He moved away, back to Rolo's erection and Suzaku knew when he'd started sucking by the way Rolo moaned and sucked harder, fitting more in.

Suzaku tried not to thrust or come or run from the room screaming. It felt so good and so wrong and Lelouch was moaning now and touching himself, and Rolo was _really_ good at this; he must have had a good teacher, and…

Rolo moaned and jerked, his mouth going slack around Suzaku as he came. Suzaku couldn't help it, he thrust into that warm cavern, seeking that delicious suction, which returned surprisingly quickly as Rolo deep-throated him.

He came with a surprised shout, spilling down Rolo's throat. Rolo swallowed around him, drawing every last spurt from Suzaku's cock before releasing him.

When Suzaku opened his eyes, Lelouch and Rolo were wrapped around each other, kissing and touching.

"I'll miss you," Lelouch whispered against Rolo's lips as they parted.

"I'll think of you," Rolo promised, his eyes flickering up to Suzaku. "I guess he's not _that_ bad."

Lelouch laughed richly and kissed Rolo again before pecking his nose. "Get dressed, you have a plane to catch."

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Suzaku and Lelouch put Rolo on his plane back to Nunnally and walked out of the airport, arms around each other's waists.

"How can I walk around like this?" Suzaku asked. "In public with everyone looking for me?"

Lelouch kissed his nose. "You look different than in any of your wanted posters or profiles. You look happy."

Suzaku figured he was probably right – both about how different he looked now and about him being happy. The ride back to the hotel was uneventful, and Lelouch started boiling water the moment they walked through the door. It was truly like being home.

"I accept."

"Hm?"

Suzaku looked Lelouch in the eye. "Your contract. I accept it. I'll stay with you and keep you safe and keep you from hurting other people, and then I'll take you from this world. It's the only way."

Lelouch smiled brilliantly at him. "Thank you, Suzaku." He reached up and cupped Suzaku's face leaning in. "And to seal it…" he murmured, pressing his lips to Suzaku's.

Suzaku closed his eyes and let Lelouch lead him to his destiny.


End file.
